Sunday, March 20, 2011

Dear Marketing People

Dude, seriously, I don't smoke. You don't have to convince me to stop. Please take those fucking ads off the air because I want to kill myself every time they're on.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

My Favorite Word: Fruition

I wrote this like years and years ago. It originally appeared on ChuckJerry.com. That's how old it is. My computer says it was last modified in August of 2004. There's sort of a random reason I wanted to post it here, but an ancillary reason is that I just needed this to exist on the interweb. Ok, that's all.

Fruition is definitely my favorite word. This word is pleasing on so many different levels that it makes me think that all words should be so functional. To start, lets define fruition. Dictionary.com defines it as the realization of something desired or worked for, an accomplishment. Therefore the word had a clearly positive connotation. That's a plus right off the bat.

In looking at the word, clearly it is related to fruit. One gets the sense that the meaning of this word comes from the fact that all of one's efforts have finally come to bear fruit. And that is precisely its meaning. This is a great analogy to make and by simply using the word 'fruition' the analogy is built in. One can extrapolate fields of grapes or apples or anything like that and imagine that after having toiled in the fields and cared after each plant, the harvest is here and is successful and that all is right with the world.

The root of the word is from the Latin root fru- which translates as enjoyment. This is great. That means that the root of fruition comes from enjoyment, which is fairly pleasing. Even better, however, is the fact that the same root is used in the noun fruit. Fruit is therefore derived from enjoyment. One would think that fruit would be one of those words that would exist as a tangible force long before the abstract idea of enjoyment. One would also think that the inherent enjoyment of fruit as a food and source of life and so on, while certainly evident upon thought, wouldn't be the driving force behind the coining of a word, yet here it is, plain as day.

To get back to fruition, then, we can see that, in a sense, fruition is the root for fruit, whereas logically we would assume that fruit would be the root of fruition. I suppose this is a slippery slope. After all, these two words wouldn't really be described as roots of one another, but rather brothers with the same paternal root. In the end, however, the idea of enjoyment is clearly the root of fruit and the idea of enjoyment is clearly encompassed in fruition, which is what I meant to say in the first place.

Aside from the absolutely thrilling link to its original root, fruition is a great word simply because it is so phonetically pleasing. To hear the word fruition is like a small three syllable symphony. It takes on a space in the air which clearly points to it as the apex of the sentence it inhabits. If you're hearing it for the first time the essence may not be immediately apparent, but the meaning is clear after only a moment's thought. In deriving the meaning one must clearly go through the aforementioned built in analogy, which then makes the meaning of the word so utterly clear, that no explanation is necessary from the user of this wonderful word.

In any event, I've wandered and veered off point and made several tangents that are certainly relevant, but don't point directly at the brilliance this word holds. Put simply, 'fruition' is a word that, when used, points clearly at the brilliance of the human mind and the simple eloquence of the English language.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I sent this blog post through my cell phone as a text message because i am cool. I am really trying to see if i can use this for something i am trying to do.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Tik-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I know it is not "nice" to take pleasure in the suffering of others, but I think we can all be forgiven for reveling in this little nugget of schadenfreude for a few days . . .

Barber's personal and professional life have been in shambles recently. In April 2010, Barber reportedly left his wife of 11 years, Ginny, for 23-year-old Traci Johnson, a former NBC intern. Ginny was eight months pregnant at the time. Soon after, NBC cited its morals clause and terminated Barber's contract, which reportedly paid him more than $300,000 per year.

In June 2010, the New York Post reported Barber was broke and couldn't pay his divorce settlement with his ex-wife.
Tikki, on behalf of all of us here at Wheeeeeeeeeeere's Luke?, I would just like to say: suck it, sir. Suck it.