Tuesday Classic Internet Meme

Pre-Script: You should read Fail Blog. Be warned, though, you may find yourself reading it for many, many hours. Also you may find yourself LOLzing at work. Anyway, this is pretty funny.

An Actual Funny Joke

The last joke I posted was not too funny (except that I thought it was). This current joke, however, is very funny.

Jake is about to chip onto the green at his local golf course when a long funeral procession passes by. He stops in mid swing, doffs his cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer. His playing companion is deeply impressed. "That's the most thoughtful and touching thing I've ever seen," he says. Jake replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

People Who Are Oblivious to Stuff

I had a conversation today with a teacher from my school. She's young and relatively new to the school and we met for the first time today. She's an English teacher.

Me: Yeah, I really like Ms. [Whomever] in the English Dept. She's very cool.
Her: Oh, well too bad because she just got married.
Me: That's OK, my wife doesn't really like me to date.
Her: You're married? How old are you?
Me: I'm 30.
Her: Oh...That's not too old.

At which point I cracked up and my buddy cracked up, too. Except this girl didn't seem to understand why what she had just said was really funny. I think she thought she was genuinely comforting me and I should feel OK since I wasn't really that old.

Normally that statement would be something that I would bring up again and again to mock the person, except she didn't even get it. It wasn't even worth it. But it was really funny.

Saturday Classic Video

Make sure you watch until the end. It's funny all the way through, though.

Friendly Advice

As we embark on a weekend sure to be filled with way too much drinking, this seemed very appropriate.

Happy summer, from all of us at Where's Luke?

Funny = Hot: Part Deux

I'll stick with Janeane Garofalo as the person who's good looking-ness increases the most because she's funny, but the rest of you are calling for a recall, then I'll offer a couple more. One at Open Bar's suggestion, and another who I'm now going to put into the number one spot, that I assume will also be assailed by my blogmates. So fuck you guys in advance.

Addendum #1 - Amy Poehler



Amy is cute as a button. Are buttons cute? What does that even mean? Interestingly she's the most versatile cast memeber on SNL because she's not traditionally good looking, in the sense that she plays a lot of teenage boys on the show, and her best character, Caitlin, (Rick, Rick, Rick, it's only 8 hours 'til uncle Rob's wedding and I get to be a bridesmaid walking down the aisle all ba-da-da-da, ba-de-da-da. That doesn't translate as well in print) is like a 9 year old girl. But then since she is so funny, bam, hotter. Also she's married to Will Arnett, who was in Arrested Development and Blades of Glory, so that's extra bonus points. Did you see their Gap ad over Christmas time? So cute.

The new #1 person whose hotness is increased by her funniness - Kathy Griffin



First of all, before you get all riled up about this, Kathy Griffin is 47 years old. She's not gonna win any beauty contests, but the fact that she is hysterically funny makes her mad cool, and therefore much more attractive than she would otherwise be. The focus of that point being the "otherwise would be". PS - Watch her reality show if and when it comes back on the air. Awesome. Or if you can catch one of her stand up routines on like the Bravo channel then watch it. I know I know, you're saying, "I'm not gay. I don't watch Bravo". Well, maybe you should start.

Funny = Hot

I'm prepared to offer several examples of some ladies who are made hotter by the fact that they are funny (incidentally, this is the first post with the "hot women" label. I, for one, am surprised). The idea is to do this in countdown form with the number one person being the one who gains the most on her attractiveness relative to her objective beauty, though we'll see how that actually works out.

Anyway, I feel I'm pretty close to proving this theory: Funny = Hot. I think the reason that funny ladies are good looking is because finding someone funny is finding some sort of common ground. Also people who are funny have to be pretty smart, and intelligence is definitely attractive. I'm of the opinion that life is pretty absurd in general, so people who seem to have come to the same conclusion are all pretty cool in my book. And then once a woman is cool, it's just a short step to becoming attractive.

Number 4 - Chelsea Handler

Ok, Chelsea Handler is good looking to begin with. But then when she starts talking shit on her talk show, Chelsea Lately, on the E! channel, and she's goddamned hysterical, and you want to leave your life as it is and in a reverse Eat, Pray, Love (no one else watches Oprah?)type of situation, head out to LA and marry her. By the way, if you're wondering who Chelsea Handler is, you should watch her show on the E! channel. It's stupid funny.

Number 3 - Sarah Silverman

Sara Silverman is also pretty good looking to begin with in my opinion, but I've heard differing views. Interestingly, the people who think she's not funny at all also tend to be the people who think she's not good looking. I think this serves to prove the point. I can understand if you don't think she's funny, but for me, she's one of the funniest people out there. It's like you see a beautiful rose out in a garden and then that rose starts cursing at you and talking about fucking Matt Damon, and it's just really funny to me.

Number 2 - Tina Fey

Dude, it's definitely the glasses here. Glasses are really sexy. Also the funny thing. And she doesn't take herself too seriously, obviously. I mean, a good portion of her show, 30 Rock, is about how lame she is and how she generally sucks at life (shout out to MECG's sister CC, for the "sucks at life" reference).

Number 1 - Janeane Garofalo

Janeane is objectively kindof funny looking, but I've always thought she was really funny and, as a result, kindof good looking. She's recently gone a little bit crazy with the outspoken uber-liberal thing. That's less funny, and also less attractive.

Yummy

Where was the copy editor on this one? (hint: you needn't read beyond the title of the article).

Didn't See Huckabees but I Heart This Clip

I didn't see the movie and after reading about it I'm not sure I even want to.
Apparently the movie is about some environmentalist that strikes a deal with a department store (Huckabees) to sponsor him in his environmentalizing, he soon goes farther than they bargained for and is planting trees in the middle of their parking lots and whatnot. Lilly Tomlin and Dustin Hoffman play existential detectives for some reason. Also, Jude Law, Marky Mark and Naomi Watts are in it.
Now, what all of that means I'm not really sure but apparently Lilly Tomlin and the director - David O. Russell did not get along very well.