I'm On Board With Full Body Scans

Hey now!

Last week some Nigerian fucker tried to blow up a plane in Detroit.

He didn't get the explosion he was looking for the first time around and instead only lit his pants on fire.

Now, this guy decided for some reason that it was best to blow up the plane not from the bathroom but from like row 15, seat A - thus drawing the attention of his fellow passengers who jumped on him and stopped him from getting a do-over.

This is now, including the shoe bomber, the second gie that tried to blow himself up with explosive chemicals they smuggled onto airplanes.

Had either succeeded, people would be going nuts but since they didn't we're all take a very blase' attitude toward this shit.

I'd put this in the 'shit we need to deal with right away category' and the thing is we have a way to deal with it.

Full Body Scan machines are essentially an x-ray through your clothes that can detect things like, oh-I-don't-know, explosive being smuggled onto a plane in order to kill everyone on board.

Yet, it seems these haven't been deployed in all airports because they are, one - too expensive and, two - too invasive.

First, I will respond to those who complain that it would be too expensive. We are spending trillions of dollars to invade foreign countries to kill mad people and build democracies all in the name of stopping Islamic terrorists from blowing up planes. This would be maybe a couple hundred million dollars. Sounds pretty cost effective to me.

Second, to you, the ACLU and privacy worriers who are concerned about full body scans cramping their style. Fucking blow me. Stop bitching. You know what I'd consider invasive? Being blown to pieces landing at Liberty International Airport.

Yeah, so someone you will never know will see you naked but they'll also see the explosive that terrorist is going to use to kill you.

I'm OK with that trade.

Taliban defeats Al Qaeda, 6-1

Thus begins the World Series.

Mets fans have argued recently over which team we should be rooting for.

I recently discussed this with Side Bar, and he asked me who I would choose. I told him that the only answer was neither. A Mets fan cannot possibly actively root for either side.

If forced to choose, I would have to go with the Taliban. Side Bar disagreed, and not without reason. I completely understand his position. After all, the Taliban are in our division. They are now our chief rival. And wow, have the last three years have been excruciating for Mets fans America.

But for me, it came down to two things. 1) The Taliban are in the National League, and I was raised to root for the National League team in the World Series; and 2) Although the Taliban's fans suck mightily, they are largely located much farther away. Al Qaeda's fans, on the other hand, I have to deal with every minute of every day. As much as it would suck to have to deal with the Taliban's retarded supporters, distance counts; and Al Qaeda fans are close by and in the millions. They also tend to be very rude and love the number 26 for some reason.

Anyway, I didn't watch tonight's game and I don't plan to watch any others, but I did hear that my homeboy Alex Rodriguez struck out three times. Man, that guy's terrible. Remember when A-Rod had a few bad postseason games and Joe Torre batted him 8th in the lineup against the Tigers? I think Joe Girardi should just shoot him this time. As many Al Qaeda fans have said these past few Octobers, A-Rod sucks at baseball -- but worse, he sucks at suicide Bronx bombing.