Sarah Palin Graduates! Sarah Palin Graduates!

With a nod to Chuck's post from a few days ago, I wanted to link my current (and certain to be short-lived) fascination with Sarah Palin to the famed 90210 program (by the way, am I the only one who completely missed the significance of the "902.0" title to Chuck's post? I get it now, and it is actually pretty clever, but it went soaring over my head the first few times I looked at it). Also, a confession: despite my comment that I would not do so, I did watch 90210 for about 90 seconds on the CW 11 last night. When I tuned in, one of the black kids from The Wire (best. show. ever.) was getting yelled at by a white principal (who I think was on Silk Stalkings in the early 1990s) because the principal wanted the kid to disclose who was behind a practical joke involving pigs. At stake if the pork prankster didn't fess up: the lacrosse team's very season. At one point, the black kid says to the principal, with what I assume was the appropriate level of melodrama, "are you asking me this as my principal or are you asking me this as my father." Gripping. And mildly confusing.

But I digress. The point of this post is to make fun of Sarah Palin some more and also make a few cracks about Bev Niner. So, I have decided that my new favorite thing about Sarah Palin is not that she may have flirted with the idea of supporting Alaska's secession from the union (as her husband did), not that she ruled the town of Wasilla, AK (population: 7,000) with an iron fist and fired anyone who disagreed with her, not that she is a pro-lifer who seems to think she is an even better pro-lifer than you are because she did not abort a child that was likely to be born with disabilities (plagiarism alert: this is Open Bar's issue, and he is likely to write something about it. When he does, I will link to it here, here, . . . . and here). No, it is none of those things. Instead, it is the fact that she played Andrea Zuckerman on the original 90210. Yes, it is true: Sarah Palin is Gabrielle Anne Carteris.

Prior to being elected mayor of Wasilla, AK, Sarah Palin's greatest accomplishment was scooping Newsweek, the LA Times, and CNN, and landing an expose with Dylan McKay about the murder of his father to be published in the West Beverly Blaze.

Now, as die hards will recall, despite playing teenagers on television, the actors and actresses of the original Beverly Hills, 90210, were slightly older than the characters they portrayed on TV. In fact, Ms. Carteris (as she was then known) was born in 1961, and was in her 30s when the show aired in the early 1990s. Coincidentally (or not, as they are the same person), Ms. Carteris left the show in 1995. Sarah Palin (as she later called herself) was elected mayor of Wasilla in 1996.

Need more proof? Ok, both of them graduated from college, but neither pursued any higher education. What else? Oh, I know - they are both completely and utterly unqualified to the Vice President of the United States.

Will You Watch 902.0?

Da-na-da-dernt, Da-na-da-dernt (punch, punch)

The new 90210 starts this Tuesday at 8pm on the CW11 (imagine I said that in my announcer voice). Will you be watching? Don't front like all of you didn't watch the first one. I think I will watch the new one. At least the first few episodes. But we all know I'm the one who watches these silly shows, so I want a real opinion.

By the way, Kelly Taylor is a permanent member of the cast as a guidance counselor at West Bev (I'm down with the lingo), and Shannen Doherty will reprise her role as Brenda Walsh for at least 4 episodes, returning to direct the student play (remember when she left to get involved in the London theater scene?). Tori Spelling was going to come back as well, but now she's not (PS, no one cares).

Seriously though, will you watch? Mrs. Side Bar, I know you must be with me, again.

You Know How I Know You're Gay?

First of all, tonight is the night of television I've been looking forward to all summer. The main reason is because of the season premiere of The Office tonight on NBC which is, for my money, the best show on television at the moment. If you're not watching The Office, then you suck (you don't like a lighthouse, you suck). This is irrelevant, mainly, to the rest of the post.

Premiering at the same time tonight, 9/8 central, on ABC is Grey's Anatomy. I can't explain why, but I've seen every episode of this show. And I'm going to watch it tonight, too. After The Office, of course. This show is entirely emasculating, unrealistic, contrived, and downright gay. (Please pardon the homosexual slur. There was a time in my younger days when anything that I deemed below average was labeled as "gay". People tried to convice me that I was being hurtful and I tried to convince them that they were grossly misinformed and that I couldn't care less if one chose to putt from the rough, that it was just a good word that fit a situation. I've since realized that I was the one who was grossly misinformed and I repent the error of my ways back in the day. Given my repentance, you can be assured that my referring to Grey's Anatomy as gay really means that the show is downright gay. If you're wondering whether or not I've just cancelled out the whole explanation with that last sentence there, I may have, but I don't think so. Certainly that's not my intention. Ok, let's move on.)

Grey's Anatomy is not a show that is made for me to enjoy. And, truth be told, at least once an episode something so ridiculous happens that I think to myself, "Why do I watch this show? It's terrible." Yet, still I watch. And I can't stop. I know I'm going to watch it for the forseeable future. Last night was the premiere of the Grey's Anatomy spin off called Private Practice. I watched it intermittently, but I don't think I'm going to be following that one with any sort of interest. It's just not that good. Except the same thing is true of Grey's Anatomy, and still I watch. One of the plot lines of this season is that Meredith (Grey)'s half sister is going to be an intern in the hospital with Meredith, and last season ended with Dr. McDreamy running into her (the sister) at the bar across the street from the hospital and offering to buy her a drink, which is coincidentally how he met Meredith. Seriously, that's the plot line. And I'm still going to watch it.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

There are other shows that I've watched in the past that have not necessarily been up my alley. Open Bar and Diesal Dave teased me endlessly in high school for watching Party of Five. Except that show was at least well written and had fully realized characters and there were people on it that more or less anyone could relate to. It was basically just about teenagers and I was a teenager at the time. I think all of us have watched our fair share of 90210 in our times. I would definitely not win the 90210 trivia contest, so I'm not too concerned about that one (I'll take Evan over anyone else on Earth in 90210 trivia, by the way). Add to that that the other shows that Grey's Anatomy fans watch are shows that I find literally unwatchable. Desperate Housewives, for example, is a show that I've had to turn off after about 5 minutes of viewing on more than one occasion for fear that I might become retarded. I've learned not to even put it on anymore. I never got into the OC, even though a couple people I knew were really into it. You get my point.

Any show that I ever watched with regularity I can defend to some extent, with the exception of Grey's Anatomy. I simply do not understand why I watch. Yet watch I do.