Showing posts with label gary cohen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gary cohen. Show all posts

Friday, June 27, 2008

A-Rod is (still) a better shortstop than Jeter is or ever was, part MCMXVIII

Here's a little mini-post because I'm drinking and watching the Mets beat the tar out of the yanks. (I love Carlos Delgado, by the way. Never said a bad thing about that grand-slam-hitting Puerto Rican Adonis.)

Top 7th inning, Mets up 11-5, one out, nobody on, and Fernando Tatis grounds out to "third baseman" Alex Rodriguez. Here follows the play-by-play from Keith Hernandez, Ron Darling, and Gary Cohen:

Keith Hernandez: You know, A-Rod's a nice-fielding third baseman.

Gary Cohen: Yeah.

KH: You gotta remember, he was a shortstop all those years--

GC: A Gold Glove shortstop.

KH: Yes he was. He came over to the yanks, moved to third and he...he can pick it over there. It's a nice play. A long hop, he backs up for the long hop. Strong arm.

GC: I remember he made that great diving stop on Tatis's ball back in the 2nd. Couldn't get a good throw away, but he's got a lot of range there at third base.

Ron Darling: And when he first went there, he agreed to play third base. It was tough for him right at the beginning, 'cause that ball comes with a lot of spin sometimes at third base.

[At this point, Brian Schneider grounds out to second. As the SNY team wraps up the inning, here's the key exchange, and yet another reason why Gary Cohen is the best play-by-play guy in the business.]

GC: And of course, the thing that the yankees never talk about is the fact that A-Rod is still twice the shortstop that Jeter is. But you're not allowed to say that here.

RD: [laughs, agreeingly]


--cut to commercial--

And yes, "agreeingly" is an adverb. Totally.

If the yanks don't ever win another World Series, it will be because Derek Jeter, Mr. Super Captain Clutchy-Clutchness was too much of a selfish douchebag to move to third. I really hope Jeter and A-Rod don't break up over this.

*fingers crossed*

Monday, June 16, 2008

Hey Hank Steinbrenner: You know what else was cool in the 1800s? Slavery.

Like father, like douchebag.

So Chien-Ming Wang broke his foot the other day while he was running the bases. He's out till September or something. Tough break for the yanks. I feel bad for them. Really.

Anyway, so I'm watching the Mets-Angels game tonight, and that topic comes up, and Gary Cohen utters some serious brilliance (with Ron Darling doing color):
Gary Cohen: Anyway, so Wang gets hurt, and that's bad. But it led to the most idiotic statement of the year, coming from Hank Steinbrenner.

Ron Darling: The year's not even done yet, and you're giving it number one already?

GC: I've gotta read this to you. He said -- Hank Steinbrenner, speaking from Tampa today, says, "My message is simple. The National League needs to join the 21st century. They need to grow up and join the 21st century," saying that the National League should adopt the DH. [Some game action occurred, but I have DVR, so I can skip ahead through that shit. Nice, right? Get DVR if you don't have it. I'm speaking particularly to LJT, who's a caveman.] Hank Steinbrenner says, "I've got my pitchers running the bases and one of them gets hurt, he's going to be out. I don't like that, and it's about time they address it. That was a rule from the 1800s." I mean, are you kidding me?

RD: Oh God...

GC: Does this guy have a filter?

RD: I don't think he does.

GC: That is one of the most idiotic things I've ever heard.
By the way, the Designated Hitter was instituted in 1972.

Hey yankee fans: This is the person running your team.

So the true question must therefore be:

Is Hank Steinbrenner the new Isiah Thomas?

Oh, I hope so.

And God bless Gary Cohen.