When Does Football Start? I Mean Baseball, No Basketball. I Mean, Dammit.

Well, here we are gentlemen. Gone is the miracle year of 1986 when both the Mets and Giants won their respective championships. Gone is 2000 when both the Mets and Giants competed for their respective championships. Gone are the 1990s when the Knicks were reliably the third or fourth best team in the NBA, and provided many great moments along with the heartache they would always eventually deliver. Gone is 1994 when the Rangers won the cup and I actually followed hockey. Gone even is 2008, just a couple short years ago, in which the upstart Giants took down the mighty Pats in the Super Bowl.

Here we are.

We are at a standstill. The Mets are absolutely terrible. And they have little hope for improving next year. The Giants? Terrible. No heart. No discipline. No nothing except a 7-9 season in their future. The Knicks? Terrible doesn't even begin to describe it. No wins, no point guard, and, worst of all in this past off season, no David Lee (who I'm admittedly gay for). They do get occasional consultation from Isiah Thomas, however. So there's that. Are the Rangers even still a team? I can't really say for sure.

I can't believe I'm caught up in this Mets thing. I came to the Mets late in the game precisely because of this. Why am I caught up in this in the first place? I laughed a smug laugh in 1998 when the Mets blew the wild card. Why do I care about this? Damn you Mets.

What has changed with the Giants since they won the Super Bowl? They have the same offensive line, the same QB, the same running backs (don't give that Ward nonsense), the same pass rushers essentially. Strahan was a leader on the field and off, I get that, but does Michael Strahan turn this team from Super Bowl champions to the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked? They're arguably more athletic at that position now than they were then. They're definitely deeper. Where has their heart gone? PS - it's time for some new gies on the offensive line.

The Knicks are...whatever, I don't even care. I'm a Nets fan now. Or maybe I'm a Thunder fan. Maybe I'll be a post-Lebron Cleveland fan. But that would be just as bad as being a Knicks fan, I guess.

So, does anybody know how the Red Bulls are looking this year?

An Open Letter From The Knicks To Their Remaining Four Fans

Dear Our Fans,

Oh, hello. Frankly, we're surprised that there are any of you left.

What do we have to do? We've been irrelevant for a decade. We've had scandals, losing record and horrible personnel decisions.

We didn't get LeBron. Instead we signed Amare' Stoudemire along with his balky knee and fucked up eye. Well, him and three gies none of you have ever heard of.

We even traded your favorite player, David Lee.

Really guys, you're pathetic! Don't you have any self respect at all?

Ha! Just kidding, we don't think you do. We don't respect you either!

Seriously, here's the deal: fuck you.

Fuck you, bitches! We suck and we are going to continue to suck and there's nothing you can do about it!

Just to prove our point, we're going to kick you in the balls. Proverbially speaking, of course because it'd take too much effort for us to go kick all of you in the balls. Frankly, we don't think you have any balls anyway.

You're like the Tina Turner of basketballs fans. That would make us Ike, of course.

That's right, bitches, we just signed Isaiah Thomas as a consultant.

Yes, that Isaiah Thomas. The Isaiah Thomas who signed Eddie Curry. The Isiah Thomas who traded for Zach Randolph. The Isiah Thomas who got us dragged to court of sexual harassment. The Isaiah Thomas who OD'ed on sleeping pills and tried to make people think that his daughter was the one who OD'ed. The Isiah Thomas that ensured that we are going to suck for years and years and years. Yep, that one, bitch! How you like them apples?!

Now, he's just a consultant. Not a major role, that's true, but we think it's just enough to remind you that we don't give a fuck about you. Really, we don't.

We're not kidding.

Fuck you.

Love,

The Knicks

Farewell, Young David. Tear :- (

LeBron, whatever. There was never a moment I thought he would realistically come to the Knicks. I really thought he'd go to Chicago, but whatever, that's finally over.

But the Knicks. The fucking Knicks. Please, someone explain to me why the only thing that has come out of Madison Square Garden that has brought me any joy in the last five years is gone. David Lee, David fucking Lee, who I am admittedly totally biased for and probably overrate, but who did average 20 and 10 last year and was an all star, was traded away.

I didn't like when they said that they were gonna go out and get LeBron, Wade, and Bosh and so they couldn't afford to keep Lee (what a preposterous plan, btw. you'll never get those guys on the same team.), but I understood. But now they have all this salary cap space, they signed a guy whose game is contingent on having a good point guard which they don't have, and THEY STILL SUCK. Their plan went to shit and the only thing that I still truly loved about the Knicks is gone. Gone. And who the fuck is Anthony Randolph?

Is this now a 2011 free agent plan?

Evan had a much more rational response to this turn of events. I think I'm on the verge of just quitting the NBA all together. Wake me up for the Lakers-Heat Final.

the knicks make a trade at the deadline

this post is written with no capital letters on purpose, to show my lack of enthusiasm or faith in the knicks.

i haven't even acknowledged our junior varsity team since this post two and a half years ago but today the ny knickerbockers traded jared jeffries and got back tracy mcgrady in return. it was a three way trade, i think.

anyway, it seems like a good deal - we get to see if t-mac, whose contract expires this year, has anything left in the tank while getting rid of one of isiah's overpriced signings at the same time. plus, if mcgrady is any good and resigns it helps their chances of getting lebron and another good player - which is really the only chance of restoring legitimacy to this awful franchise.

Dear The Knicks,

This letter goes out to Donny Walsh and Mike D'Antoni and anyone else who has an say on the Knicks roster. I know that the Knicks are gonna suck again next year. I also know you guys are under the delusion that you are somehow going to sign LeBron James next year despite the fact that there's a good possibility they will have won back to back championships in Cleveland by that point. The only guy who's on your roster that's definitely gonna be on the team at that point is Danilo Gallinari and all that is well and good.

But please, I'm saying please here, please keep David Lee. Do it for me. I have watched the Knicks faithfully since 1989. I have continued to watch even when it was clear that the franchise didn't care about me or about winning or about being under the salary cap. The only bright spot in these past few years has been the play of David Lee. He was great in the Isiah Thomas half court low post system and he was great in the completely opposite Mike D'Antoni 7 seconds or less system and I love him. Don't fuck around with me here.

Keep David Lee!!

One Last Chance

The Knicks today are going to name Donnie Walsh the president or something of the team. He's basically gonig to be in charge of every aspect of the Knicks and will report directly to James Dolan. All of this is well and good, but this is the last chance I'm giving the Knicks to keep me as a fan.

If Isiah Thomas is still with the team next year, then I'm done with them. If they don't have enough goddamned sense to get rid of him, then they don't care about me and I, therefore, can no longer care about them.

Friday Classic Video: The Knicks, LJT, and the love between them

We've all followed the misadventures of our beloved New York Knickerbockers. From the sexual-harassment trial to the "Fire Isiah" chants to the inevitable 60 losses by the end of the year, it's been quite a rollicking little ride so far this year.

Our resident Knicks superfan, LJT, has even conceded the supreme terribleness of the our NY cagers, which is bittersweet to me for this reason:

LJT hates everything. Babies, dogs, loveable old people, sunshine, even the broad category I'll title "Things that are fun" -- like, for example, the Toilet Bowl, our annual Christmas Eve football game that LJT refuses to attend. (By the way, why hasn't any of us written up this year's game yet? Get on it, Chuck.) But back to the point, in spite of LJT's commitment to hating everything, he harbors this tiny little speck -- deep down in his soul, where it survives, bravely fending off the soldiers of spite and malice which otherwise dominate -- that he reserves for his Knicks. It's kind of sweet, actually. You know, how it's kind of sweet the way Hannibal Lecter respects Clarice Starling. Even though he brutally murders people and then eats them.

So I guess this clip is for LJT. I just wish that the third guy (along with Marbury and Isiah) was James Dolan. James Dolan, by the way, can get raped by a rhino's horn and then eaten alive by vultures on the plains of the Serengeti for all I care. That's one thing, I think, on which LJT and I can agree.



By the way, I blatantly stole this video from East Village Idiot. For you idiots that haven't started reading his blog, you're stupid.

Sigh

Amongst my friends I'm known as a sports team hater. I like the Mets but will root for the Yankees. At times, I have been known to root for the other team - the one your team is playing against right now.

My one real exception, historically, has been the New York Knicks. They were (and maybe one day will be again) the team I cared about.

As has been documented in my blogging career since 2005, I have gone through many emotions over the last few years.

The Scott Laden era was difficult but my interest was piqued when Isiah Thomas came on board; my hope was sparked when he traded for Stephon Marbury; and I was downright optimistic when they hired Larry Brown and signed Eddy Curry.

I was frustrated by that awful 2005 - 2006 season and disapointed, but thought maybe - just maybe - Isiah could fix the house when he took the coaching reins last year. Alas, a decent team was not to be.

They went out and got Zach Randolph this off season and I tried to muster some optimism but after the last few years, a lost sexual harassment trial and Stephon's bizarre behavior this summer, it really sort of felt like a lost cause.

With this past week's turn of events with Isiah deciding to bench Stephon, Stephon's getting off the team plane in Arizona, flying back to New York, having Isiah declare the matter would stay 'in house', having Stephon be fined $200k and then flying to meet the team in LA and playing 30 minutes the Knicks have just reached a level of absurdity that is just, well, disgusting. They don't even feel like they owe the fans an explanation for the last few years of total absurdity. This is their show and we're just watching.

The Knicks suck and they are going to continue to suck and suck and then they will suck some more.

James Dolan, son of Cablevision head-honcho Charles Dolan is a rich kid fuck-up whose Dad gave him the keys to the Knicks and the Rangers mostly so he'd have something to do that couldn't fuck up his own important cable business too much. A whiny tantrum throwing bitch.

Isiah just keeps stockpiling talent that doesn't fit together, harassing women and trying to cultivate this 'us against the world mentality' except the problem isn't the world being against 'us' it's that the 'us' just sucks. He seems like a totally self interested prick, which got him out of the Chicago Streets and made him an all-time great basketball player but he can't seem to understand that that skill-set isn't working here.

I don't know if Stephon is just an egomaniac or sort of insane but I think it's probably both. He embarassed Dolan with his off court behavior this summer, with that strange interview on Mike'd Up, his assertion of dog-fighting as a legitimate sport and his performance at the Isaiah trial over this summer with gems such as the pickup line "Are you gonna get in the truck?", his cousin being a dickhead and his singing on the way out of court after his disastrous testimony. Now Dolan hates him and Isaiah is trying to keep his job and is pissed off at him anyway for what he sees as Marbury's losing the trial for him (didn't help but Isaiah has himself to blame), so he's trying to make Starbury the scapegoat.

Oh, and the team isn't very good. Still. Oh, and they're like a billion dollars over the salary cap so they can't do much about being terrible.

I'm exhausted just typing all this.

They are an embarrassment to the NBA and New York.

Last year I was at the point where I didn't really care about them much anymore.

This year, it's like they don't even exist.

The root of the problem is Dolan and he owns the team so he isn't going anywhere.

I guess maybe one day if Dolan, Thomas and Marbury are gone, we could get back together but I've essentially broken up with the Knicks. It was an unhealthy relationship. We can't be friends. I still care deep down and maybe someday, down the road, we can reconcile, but right now they've gone off the deep end and there is nothing we Knicks fans can do about it.