Shut Up, Shula

Is Don Shula kidding?

From espn.com, on the potential for the Patriots to 16-0, the first perfect season for an NFL team since the 1972 Dolphins, whom Shula coached:

"The Spygate thing has diminished what they've accomplished," Shula said in an interview with the New York Daily News. "You would hate to have that attached to your accomplishments. They've got it."

On the cash and draft pick penalty assessed against the Patriots as a result of the videotaping scandal:

"That tells you the seriousness or significance of what they found," Shula said, according to the Daily News. "I guess you got the same thing as putting an asterisk by Barry Bonds' home run record.

"I guess it will be noted that the Patriots were fined and a No. 1 draft choice was taken away during that year of accomplishment. The sad thing is Tom Brady looks so good, it doesn't look like he needs any help.

Barry Bonds? Come on. What a dick. First of all, let's all settle down about the undefeated thing. The Pats are 9-0 and look unstoppable, but other teams have looked good and not gone all the way. The Pats have the Steelers and (ahem) the G-Men ahead of them, both good teams that could pull off an upset (side note: if the Pats are 15-0 going into the last game of the season at the Medowlands, and the Giants need a win to get in the playoffs or to get a home game, Strahan and Umenyiora will be at 110%. What do you do if you are the Patriots? Start Brady and risk injury, or sit Brady and risk losing the shot at the perfect season? Using the "do whatever your opponent would be least happy with" theory, I think they would start Brady. But still).

TB: "How bad is it doc?" Dr.:"You'll be on crutches for 6-8 weeks, Mr. Brady, and rehab will be 3-4 months, but as long as Giselle is on top, you're fine in, er, that other department."

Beyond that, though, anyone who thinks the Patriots wouldn't have beaten the Jets without the videotaping isn't watching the NFL this year. Marko Jokic, Nikki Lamparelli and Ethan Pavone could beat the Jets even if they were playing Andy rules and you weren't allowed to tackle any of the Jets. But stealing signs in week 1 has tainted the Patriots' season. Come on.

Finally, the last time I checked, the 1972 Dolphins went 14-0, because the schedule had to expand to its present 16 games. If we really want to talk about asterisks, let's throw that in to the mix. Would the Dolphins have been able to keep it together for two more weeks? Beats me, but which is more unrealistic: the 2007 Patriots lose to the god-awful 2007 Jets in week 1 when everyone is fresh and no one is dealing with injuries, or the fish lose one of two games at the end of a season when everyone is tired and banged up (side note: I wasn't sure where to put this, but I just wanted to point out that the 2007 Patriots, through nine wins, have scored 355 points, only 30 points shy of the 385 points scored by the 1972 Dolphins in all 14 of their games combined. Also their team logo is super gay).

For my part, I like the way Patriots' OLB Mike Vrabel responded:

I think that we try to go out there and play hard every week. And I don't think that guys are going to draw on an old retired coach and old washed up players to pump us up. We play hard. We try to go out there and play hard. That's our job every week is to go out there and play hard. To play for our team, my teammates, my coaches, the respect factor, that's what I try to go out and play for, and I think everybody else on our team does the same thing.

In sum, Don Shula is whiny little bitch with a small penis whose sole remaining claim to fame is in jeopardy, and he can't handle it.