Deja Blue

That's not mine . . . I read it somewhere and I liked it; so kudos to whoever came up with it (though I am pretty sure it wasn't this guy).

In the two weeks leading up to Superbowl 46 (I am not doing the Roman numeral thing), I was pretty content with the distinct possibility that the Giants would lose to the Patriots this time round. The 2011 Pats were a very good team. Don't listen to people who say otherwise; bad teams don't go 13-3. The New England defense had improved drastically in the second half of the season (though, admittedly, it could only go in one direction) and Tom Brady is one of the best quarterbacks in the history of football. Throw in some intangibles like some cockiness out of the Giants, the supposed emotional heft to this game for the Pats because of the death of Mrs. Kraft, the revenge factor, the Brady-played-shitty-against-the-Ravens-and-now-he's-pissed factor, and it all seemed to point to a Patriots' win. In fact, Open Bar and I were out before the game and I confided in him that, gun to my head, I would pick the Pats to win the game. (To his credit, he picked the Giants).

I was really not bothered by the idea of losing, though, because the win in Superbowl 42 was so amazing, so exciting, so gut-wrenching, and so unbelievable, that I didn't think anything could ever come close to that again - not even another win. Nothing could take that last one away. And even if the Patriots' won and gave their fans a chance to say that 42 was a fluke, I just didn't care. That night in February of 2008 was just so much fun and so perfect that I figured there was no possible way to recapture it.

But I think that maybe last night did recapture it - or at least came closer than I thought was possible. They did it all over again. This group of Giants (football players all!) -- nearly a quarter of them veterans of what was probably the most unlikely Superbowl win of all time -- somehow managed to rip our stomachs out through our throats again and reward us with a win that was every bit as exciting, improbable and impossible as the last one. If the David Tyree "Helmet Catch" was one of the most exciting plays in the history of the Superbowl, the Manning-to-Manningham throw and catch might have been one of the best.

And while that play tops the list of similarities between 46 and 42, it was hardly the only one. This game was practically a repeat of the last win. The fumbles that didn't go the Patriots' way, the halftime lead for New England, that creeping, sinking feeling in the second half that maybe the impossible run was going to come up one game short, the late scoring drive, the devastating sack of Brady on the final drive, and a hail mary that came up short for the Pats.

For all of us, too, the setting was uncannily similar. Just a few blocks north of the apartment we watched the last one in, we got to do it all over again. Same crowd, same too many beers, same chili (sofuckinggood, dude), same post-game celebration on the Upper West Side (hat tip to New York's finest for not writing us a ticket for open containers. Not making this up: we were drinking beers and high-fiving strangers on 110th and Amsterdam. OB was drinking right out of a champagne bottle. And, when a police car drove up, they stared us, we stared back sort of awkwardly, and one of the officers gets on the speaker and says "just take it inside, guys." So we did).

When the Giants won Superbowl 42, I wrote that "last night was one of the most exciting nights of my life, and one I really do not think I will ever forget. In fact, other than the night I got engaged, and the day I got married, it may have been the very best." Since then, I've welcomed two amazing kids into the world, so 42 has been notched down a peg or two on my list. But now it's got some company.

Deja vu.

When Does Football Start? I Mean Baseball, No Basketball. I Mean, Dammit.

Well, here we are gentlemen. Gone is the miracle year of 1986 when both the Mets and Giants won their respective championships. Gone is 2000 when both the Mets and Giants competed for their respective championships. Gone are the 1990s when the Knicks were reliably the third or fourth best team in the NBA, and provided many great moments along with the heartache they would always eventually deliver. Gone is 1994 when the Rangers won the cup and I actually followed hockey. Gone even is 2008, just a couple short years ago, in which the upstart Giants took down the mighty Pats in the Super Bowl.

Here we are.

We are at a standstill. The Mets are absolutely terrible. And they have little hope for improving next year. The Giants? Terrible. No heart. No discipline. No nothing except a 7-9 season in their future. The Knicks? Terrible doesn't even begin to describe it. No wins, no point guard, and, worst of all in this past off season, no David Lee (who I'm admittedly gay for). They do get occasional consultation from Isiah Thomas, however. So there's that. Are the Rangers even still a team? I can't really say for sure.

I can't believe I'm caught up in this Mets thing. I came to the Mets late in the game precisely because of this. Why am I caught up in this in the first place? I laughed a smug laugh in 1998 when the Mets blew the wild card. Why do I care about this? Damn you Mets.

What has changed with the Giants since they won the Super Bowl? They have the same offensive line, the same QB, the same running backs (don't give that Ward nonsense), the same pass rushers essentially. Strahan was a leader on the field and off, I get that, but does Michael Strahan turn this team from Super Bowl champions to the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked? They're arguably more athletic at that position now than they were then. They're definitely deeper. Where has their heart gone? PS - it's time for some new gies on the offensive line.

The Knicks are...whatever, I don't even care. I'm a Nets fan now. Or maybe I'm a Thunder fan. Maybe I'll be a post-Lebron Cleveland fan. But that would be just as bad as being a Knicks fan, I guess.

So, does anybody know how the Red Bulls are looking this year?

MVP! MVP! Fare Thee Well, Old Friend

We at Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Luke would be remiss to let this day pass withough acknowledging the retirement of the New York Football Giants most consistent player of the last 7 years, Jeff Feagles. Referred to affectionately by real Giants fans (well, me and Diesal at least) as The Feag, he has been a staple in the Giants' special teams and, in all honesty, may be the best punter in the history of the game.

This guy is 44 years old, played in 352 consecutive games, and never missed a game in his 22 years in the league. He has a knack for pinning teams inside the 20 and he rarely let go a bad punt for the Giants. He was a great player and will be missed.

In Defense of Eli

In the weeks leading up to the Superbowl - and then last night as we all gathered to watch it - there was a lot of talk about Peyton Manning. He is, by all accounts, one of the very best quarterbacks ever to play in the NFL. His numbers are great, his comebacks legendary, and his four MVPs a league record. And the pass he threw to Dallas Clark in what looked like triple coverage late in the game yesterday was just sick.

As Giants fans we occasionally lament that we have the younger, good brother instead of the older, incredible brother (a feeling Mrs. Side Bar presumably knows all too well). But I have always maintained that Peyton grew into his greatness slowly, and entered the league as a good, but not great, quarterback. Likewise, I have always insisted that while Eli may never quite reach the level that Peyton has been on for the past few years, he is on a trajectory to develop into a great quarterback in his own right.

The numbers support my theory (to some extent, anyway). Eli has played five full seasons in the NFL (I am discounting the seven games he started in 2004 as a mid-season replacement for the struggling-but-then-of-course-became-fantastic-again-when-he-left-the-Giants Kurt Warner); Peyton has played 12 full seasons in the NFL. So comparing Eli to Peyton now is a no-brainer --- Peyton is light years better. But that is an apples to oranges comparison. If you consider their numbers over the same period in their respective careers, the distinctions become much finer.

Just give me my fucking keys; I am not guessing which hand

In Peyton's first five seasons in the NFL his numbers were better, but definitely not much better than Eli's. Peyton's completion percentage was about four percentage points higher than Eli's over those first five years. That's four more completed passes per 100 attempts, or about 15-20 more per season. That's probably statistically significant (care to run the numbers, Chuck?), but not by much. Similarly, his passer rating was, on average, about five points higher than Eli's over those first five seasons. But in two of the five Eli actually posted a better passer rating than Peyton did, it is just that a miserable 2007 season (yes, that 2007 season) stands as an outlier and reduces Eli's overall average. Peyton threw 19 more TDs in his first five seasons in the NFL than Eli did, but he also threw 21 more interceptions than Eli during that span. (Both the TD and interception numbers are probably explained by the fact that Peyton attempted 221 more passes in his first five seasons than Eli did in his). And of course, Eli won a Superbowl in his third year, while Peyton won his first (and only, suck it) in his seventh year.

Are Peyton's numbers better over that span? Sure. But as I said at the top, they are certainly within the range of what Eli has done over the course of his first five years in the league. Now add in the fact that Peyton plays in a dome, on a pass-first team, and for the period in question he was choosing between Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison as his targets. By comparison, the Giants are (or were, until this year, when Eli had by far the best season of his career) a running team, playing a lot of games in weather that makes it tougher to pass, and have never had an elite corps of receivers (except the often-disgruntled and now incarcerated Plaxico Burress).

Of course, there is one very important number I haven't touched on yet -- 4, the number of MVP awards that Peyton has won in his career. Eli has none. But interestingly enough, Peyton won his first MVP award in 2003 . . . . his sixth full season in the league. And seeing as how the Mets are going to be --- spoiler alert --- fucking terrible this year, it seems now is as good a time as any to start getting fired up about Eli's MVP campaign in 2010.

Fuck You, The Giants

Fuck you, Osi Umenyiora, you non-sack having, non-run play playing.........You know what? Much like the 2009 Giants and this season, I just don't have the heart to finish this post with any fervor.

You guys remember that time the Giants won the Super Bowl? That was awesome.

The Problem With The Giants

The short answer: The Giants have been sucking at every aspect of the game recently.

The longer answer: The Giants have been sucking at every aspect of the game recently. Most inexplicable is their defensive pass rush. They have proven pass rushers and, for some reason, have been incapable all season of actually pressuring the opposing quarterback. I really have no explanation for why Justin Tuck, Osi Unmenyiora, Matthias Kiwanuka, Black Fred, et al have been unable to put on any sort of pass rush. The rest of their defense is terrible at the moment. They're down to like their 5th string cornerback and 4th string inside linebackers. I understand why the secondary is not playing well, but I don't understand why the defensive line can't do them any favors. It's possible you could make an argument about since the secondary sucks so bad that other offenses can afford to keep more gies back in pass protection, but you couldn't do that on every play, nor does that really even make a lot of sense in terms of offensive scheming.

More explicable is their offense. It seems pretty clear to me at this juncture that the reason their offense has been so bad is because of the offensive line. Yes, it's true that the offensive line has been their cornerstone for the last 4 seasons, but I think it's precisely that reason that the line is falling apart now. They have played essentially every game in the last 4 seasons together. In that time, Kareem McKenzie has missed one game (this season, not coincidentally) and Diehl, O'Hara, Seubert, and Snee have missed none. The gies' reputation is that they pound the crap out of defenses and open up holes for the running game. They know where they're all going to be on pass protection and are therefore better at it than other teams. This is all well and good while they're all healthy, but that doesn't seem to be the case. There's a reason why every other offensive line in the league has been less durable and I think the wear and tear is finally catching up with them.

Brandon Jacobs is not doing anything differently, there just aren't any holes opened up. The Giants young, unproven receiving corps is has not really let them down this year. Rather, Eli has been pressured to the extent that he hasn't had time to throw to them. As much as the O-line has meant to this team, perhaps it's time to think about rejuvenating it heading into next season. O'Hara is in his 10th season, McKenzie and Seubert are both in their 9th, and Diehl and Snee are in their 7th and 6th, respectively. McKenzie in particular seems to be breaking down this season.

The Giants definitely are capable of making the playoffs this year, but they're gonna need to turn it around quickly. They have to without a doubt beat the Eagles in 2 weeks. They would be well served to beat the Cowboys next week, though it's not a 100% must win, it would be much better if they did. Assuming they beat the Iggles, they'd have to win at least 2 of their last 3 against Washington, Carolina, and a nothing to play for Minnesota. They're basically in a 3 way race with the Iggles and Packers for the 2 wild card spots right now, but at the moment they're on the outside looking in.

This is basically unrelated to their struggles, but I also just want to point out that I hate watching the G-Men come to the line with 20 seconds on the play clock and then watching Eli point out the mike, say "Omaha" 4 times, turn around and talk with the backs, send someone in motion, snap the ball with 1 second left on the play clock, and then just run off tackle. I understand that this is a fairly complicated game, much more so than all other professional sports, and that coordinating the movements of 22 people on the field is a big job. But seriously, isn't the run off tackle the simplest possible play you could be running? Block the hole open with the O-line, send a lead blocker in there, and hand the ball off. What's the deal with the rest of this?

Also unrelated to their struggles, and actually this point is helping them forward. I like how Eli is recognized now as the leader of the team. That was definitely not the case in the Tiki, Shockey years, and even through their Super Bowl run there were lingering questions. All of this lends to my thesis, "Fuck you, Tiki Barber, you prima donna, non-interview skill having, mid-season retiring, spotlight stealing hoe."

Gggggg-Men

With their first pre-season game only a few days away, and the Mets comfortably entrenched in fourth place for the foreseeable future, we can finally talk about the Giants. ESPN has them third on the pre-season power rankings. I think that might be a little high until we figure out if Eli can throw to anyone other than Plax, but I do think they have a credible shot at winning the division with a 10-6 or an 11-5 record. The Redskins stink and the Eagles are old. Cowboys will be tough, but I think our defense can contain them (especially without TO, who has absolutely torched the Giants for his entire career (but it was awesome that time he cried after we beat them in the playoffs)).

A few notes from the schedule:

Sep 13 - the opener, home against the Redskins, at 4:15. A nice way to kick off the season.

Sep 20 - a week later, in Dallas on Sunday night. Last time we started a season against two division opponents was 2004 (under Kurt Warner), and we split en route to a disappointing season.

Thanksgiving night - at Mile High against the Jay Cutler-less Broncos. Defense could have a field day against Kyle Orton.

Then the last two games of the season are home against the Panthers and on the road against the Vikings. Is it me or do we end every single season against Minnesota? (In fact, the Giants' last five games of this season are against the exact same five teams as last season. And they are in the exact same order with only the Dallas and Washington games reversed).

And a few predictions/thoughts:

Watch for Justin Tuck to have another monster year. And with Osi slated to return, watch for the entire defense to put together a Ravens-style season.

Eli could struggle early. There will be so much talk about his new contract, whether he is worth it, etc., etc. And he is going to have to find a rhythm with a core of receivers that really does not have a superstar among them. I think this is a big concern (particularly given that the first two games are in the division).

I live in constant fear of Brandon Jacobs getting hurt. You are all free to kick my ass for the jinx I just put on him.

Is Ahmad Bradshaw the real deal? I honestly cannot decide. I think this is the second biggest concern. But I am glad that the Giants do not seem inclined to use Bradshaw on first and second down, and save Jacobs for third down. That was exactly the wrong formula, and they finally figured that out last year. If Jacobs is healthy (jinx), and Bradshaw can mirror what Derek Ward did last year, then the running game will take enormous pressure off of Eli. Coupled with a best-in-conference defense, and this is the recipe for the Giants to get into the playoffs and go deep.

Here endeth my stream of consciousness about the Giants, for now.

Giant Disappointment

OB's picture is worth 1,000 words, but I wanted to add a few thoughts with almost 24 hours of hindsight to reflect on yesterday's Giants-Eagles game.

First of all, I think it is worth noting that virtually every facet of the Giants' game was off yesterday - there is lots and lots of blame to go around for this loss. In no particular order:

• Eli was shite for almost all of the game;
• Carney's two missed FG's made a comeback virtually impossible in the 4th quarter;
• Gilbride's inexplicable decision to pass more and run less in the second and third quarters was and is astounding (I think he calls the plays, if not, my bad);
• The defensive line failed to sack McNabb even one time (or just hit him late and take the 15 yards - anything to break his rhythm);
• The secondary couldn't stop the medium passing game over the middle for the last 30 minutes of the game; and
• The offense failed to convert two crucial fourth downs when Eli couldn't get low enough to convert a fourth down that a high schooler could have made on the first, and Brandon Jacobs ignored a wide open left side and instead dove for the middle on the second.

And that's just a few of the problems. Which is why even though I know the Eagles won, I will remember this as a Giants' loss.

But I disagree with OB and anyone else who was stunned and/or crushed by this loss. Despite some frustration for the above-chronicled collective bed-shitting by this team, I don't feel too badly today, and I have none but love for our G-Men. The Giants had a great season, and it was really fun to watch them dominate the NFC all year. The Carolina win was about as exciting as a regular season game gets. And I don't care what anyone says, when you lose a guy like Burress - especially in the manner the Giants lost him - it has a huge impact. Throw in the fact that Jacobs was breaking down, Tuck was hurt, and we were battling a number of other injuries, and the handwriting was on the wall shortly after Thanksgiving: this was not a team that was going to go all the way. I mean, 1-3 to end the season really does not inspire too much confidence, even when the one win is more important than all three losses combined. I haven't looked it up, but I cannot imagine too many Super Bowl winners ended their season with a .250 winning percentage over their final four games.

This was a solid team, but I am not sure they were the best in the NFC, and they definitely were not the best when it mattered most. The comparisons between the 2007-08 Giants and the 2008-09 Eagles may have drawn complaints from the players and coaches of both teams this week, but they are spot on. This Eagles team was uninspiring for much of the regular season, snuck into the playoffs on luck and some nice wins down the stretch, and caught fire at exactly the right time.

And before you get too down about the end of the Giants' season, consider this: after pulling off a shocking upset in the 2002 Super Bowl (a win that was frequently compared to the Giants' Super Bowl win in 2008), the Patriots had a disappointing campaign the following year, only to win consecutive Super Bowls in the two years that followed. And if that's not enough, consider this: one of the top defenses in the NFC is getting Osi Umenyiora back in 2009. I will distract myself with a mediocre Mets team over the summer, but I am already looking forward to the 2009 Giants.

The Drop That Follows The Catch

After missing the first six weeks of the season recovering from knee surgery, David Tyree was placed on injured reserve on Wednesday, effectively ending his season. Tyree's future with the Giants - who have an embarrassment of riches of sorts at the wide receiver position - is far from certain.

If Tyree can make it back next season, he will have millions of local fans rooting for him every step of the way. If not, he will be remembered for one of the singular, defining moments in the history of New York sports.

Good luck, David.

Random thoughts

So I'm stealing Side Bar's usual mail-it-in post thing here, but hey, go fuck yourself. Sorry, don't know where that came from. Moving right along...

The New York Giants, who won the Super Bowl last year (still amazing) over the 18-0 17-1 Patriots, kicked the season off by annihilating the absurdly racist-ly named Redskins, 16-7. Okay, maybe it wasn't an annihilation, but isn't "Redskins" by far the most glaringly racist name for a team or company or fucking anything these days? I know there's a movie called "Towelhead" coming out, but that's nowhere near as offensive as White Men Can't Jump. I can. *fights back tears* I can jump. Just not as high as, you know, black people. Man, I'm so oppressed.

The New York Mets face off against the Philadelphia Phillies in a three-game series this weekend. I won't be going to Shea to see any of the games, but I'm already half-drunk and the first game starts in an hour, so that's gotta count for something. By the way, pitching tonight for the Phillies is the wife-beating uberdouche Brett Myers. God, I hate the fucking fillies. The Mets have been playing really well lately which has, of course, made me even more wary about things. Don't get my fucking hopes up again, you assholes. A much better preview is over at Y2K. (And in case any of those guys happen to follow their trackbacks to this post, can y'all get Cheddar Ben to do a friggin' guest post at least?)

Google Chrome is fucking awesome. I've been meaning for a long time to write about how awesome Firefox is, but I haven't gotten around to it. Sorry to all you cavemen (Side Bar) still using Internet Explorer, I could've improved your Internet experience even more than by honoring your browser by blogging my brilliance (alliteration, bitches!). I don't have the time (between drinks) to get too far into why Chrome rules, but here's a good place to start. Chrome is still not as cool as Firefox, but once it adds extensions, I don't see how even Firefox (much less IE or Safari) will be able to compete. My favorite Firefox extensions: Adblock Plus, Better Gmail 2, PicLens, TinyURL creator, Download Statusbar. If you're a tech nerd, or even a wannabe like me, you'll get it. If not, go here and get these extensions now.

Sarah Palin is awesome. I love this woman. As an Obama supporter, I think she is the absolute best possible pick. By choosing someone without any national-security credentials, foreign-policy experience, or fiscal-conservatism achievements (running an oil-rich state and literally paying your constituents $5,000 a year doesn't mean you know shit about how to run government finances), the GOP has forfeited its (already-suspect) claim to be the party of strong national defense and fiscal responsibility. What they do have in Sarah Palin is a hardcore right-winger on just about everything. First and foremost, she's a super-duper theocrat, which ultimately means that the Republican Party has announced that it is now officially the party of evangelical Christians and that's it. Everyone else, especially you swing voters? Welcome to our side! 

Lastly, where the fuck is LJT? Lumpy and DannyG posted more this week than his lame ass. Chuck had about the worst week any of us has ever had in terms of posting, but hey, at least he posted. (Sorry, Chuck. I know you'll pick it up soon. Just no more dumbassery. Okay, some dumbassery is okay -- even encouraged -- but how 'bout some more shit like this appropos beaut?) 

Okay, have a good weekend. Go get drunk. Get laid. Stick it to the man. ANARCHY! 

(And leave a friggin' comment, for chrissakes. Thanks to Faith, Lumpy, DannyG for their awesomeness this week.)

Shock-ing!

The New York Giants have traded Jeremy Shockey to the New Orleans Saints for a second- and a fifth-round pick in the 2009 draft. The deal is pending league approval and a physical exam.

I am pretty conflicted on this deal, but ultimately I am on board. First, the reasons why it makes sense:

1. Shockey was going to become a major distraction once training camp got fully underway. Shockey wanted out, he bullied Eli, and he was not going to be ok with Kevin Boss getting more and more playing time. This is probably reason enough to have traded him. From what I can tell, Shockey is the kind of guy who can be a major distraction in the locker room, and could easily undermine Eli's (now deserved) leadership position. And while the Giants certainly don't need to protect Eli from every loudmouth jerk on the team -- there will always be a few -- Shockey's discontent had grown beyond the garden variety.

2. Shockey is a little overrated. Calm down, calm down. Shockey was a very good tight end, and he is going to improve the Saints immediately (they were already a candidate for most improved NFL team this year, and this trade helps them immensely). But his flair for the dramatic (both on the field and off), and his insistence at running directly at the opposing team when they try to tackle him (not to mention a mild case of Jason Sehorn syndrome from the press and the fans) earned him a reputation as one of the premier tight ends in the league that may not have been deserved. Shockey drops way too many passes, refuses to block, and gets way too many stupid taunting and personal fouls. He is also prone to injury; he never once played in all 16 regular season games in his six-year career with the Giants.

3. The Giants draft well. Giants GM Jerry Reese only has two drafts under his belt, but both have been very, very solid (in the first, Reese took five players who would make meaningful contributions in the Superbowl as rookies. That is extraordinary). With seven picks in the first five rounds of the 2009 draft (I am assuming - but don't know for sure - that they have all of their other picks), the Giants could be in a position to build a very solid team around Eli for many years to come.

4. Boss arguably fits the Giants offensive scheme better than Shockey. Boss is unproven (see below), yes, but has shown signs that he will fit in with Eli perfectly in the 2008 campaign. The Giants are a running team with several strong options for the pass (Burress, Toomer, the emerging Steve Smith, etc.). They don't really need a tight end who is going to catch 8-10 passes a game. Instead, they need a guy who can block for both the pass and the run, but who has good enough hands that the quarterback can rely on him as a mid- to deep threat when the need arises. Consider this: in the Giants final three games last year, Boss caught one pass in each game, each for more than 10 yards (the last, a 45-yd strike in the Superbowl, was the most memorable).

So are you convinced? Me too, except when I consider the following:

1. The Giants traded a Pro Bowl TE for two guys who cannot join the team for more than a year. This is risky business. I understand that the team didn't have a whole lot of choice here, but they sure did not get any proven players in return for a proven player. I know Jason Taylor wasn't a great fit for us, but with him going to the Redskins yesterday, I am a little surprised the Giants didn't find a way to cut a three-way deal with Miami and New Orleans (which is apparently what the Saints were trying to do), if for no other reason than to keep Washington from getting him. I guess the problem is that the Saints knew Shockey wanted out, and didn't have to offer the farm to get him. I just wonder whether, had the Giants balked at this deal, and then won their first two or three games of the season with meaningful contributions from Shockey, we wouldn't all be breathing collective sigh of relief for holding back. We'll see.

2. Boss is unproven. The Kevin Boss thing was very exciting last year. But the Kevin Maas thing was exciting a few years before that. I am not suggesting he can't be a serviceable tight end, but I think we need to resist the temptation to suggest that the Giants haven't lost anything here. This guy has played in 13 regular season games in his career, and was only thrown to in five of them. He has yet to catch his tenth career pass, or score his third career touchdown. I am excited about seeing what he can do every day, but it is risky to send a pro bowler to another team in favor of a somewhat unproven rookie.

To me the bottom line is that the Giants were low on options here. They had a star player who wanted out; they got what the could for him, and will roll the dice with a second-year player who could be a perfect fit, but could just as easily leave the team wishing they had put up with Shockey's antics for another year.

UPDATE: The Catch

Side Bar asked what we should call the amazing play from the Super Bowl where Eli Manning escaped a sack and then threw the ball seemingly wildly down the field to David Tyree who pinned it against his helmet before securing the catch. Also yesterday on Mike and the Mad Dog, Francesa spent about 3 hours taking calls offering suggestions on what to call the play. Incidentally, Mad Dog was off yesterday and Francesa would sometimes just sit in silence for literally 10 seconds at a time pondering the suggestions people were making. Is he that big of a fucking deal that he can't follow rule number one of radio, never stop talking?

Most of the suggestions from Francessa were pretty bad, but there were some good ones. I wanted to maybe just list a few of the possible names for the sake of fun, and also perhaps to get the picture of the girl peeing in the middle of the street with her breasts hanging out below the fold of the page in the hopes that I can again blog at work.

Here are a couple of ideas, starting with the bad ones:

Flight of the Phoenix (get it, the super bowl was in arizona, near phoenix?)

The Escape Catch (get it, like escape hatch?)

Let's not forget my suggestion to pull in the Fox cross promotion: Prison Break

Those are only a couple of the bad ones I can think of. There were some much worse suggestions on the radio show. Here are some of the better ones:

Catch-42 (get it, for Super Bowl 42?)

Eli to D-Ty, Oh My.

The Helmet Catch

The Tyree-ception

So far I think "Catch-42" is my favorite.

UPDATE: Look what I (Open Bar, that is) did. On the left side of the screen, I set up a friggin' POLL to determine the answer. Should we now takes bets on the Over/Under of what day we reach double-digit responses? Suggestions for both new names for the catch and for what the O/U date should be in the comments, por favor.

The Giants

I have honestly never been as excited being a sports fan as I was in the fourth quarter of that game. That David Tyree catch was the greatest play I can think of in the history of sport. The Giants won the Super Bowl.

I think that was a Haiku.

Easy Eli, the Helmet Catch, and the Psychosis of Being a Fan

My turn.

Without hyperbole, without exaggeration, and without even a split-second of hesitation, I can honestly write that last night was one of the most exciting nights of my life, and one I really do not think I will ever forget. In fact, other than the night I got engaged, and the day I got married, it may have been the very best.

Open Bar and I share an affinity for the same teams, so his discussion below about our previous experiences supporting a team that wins a championship pretty much says it all. Mets in 1986, Giants in 1987 and 1991. And nothing else.

Until now. Last night was simply perfect: watching the game with a dozen good friends, plenty to eat (side note: amazing, amazing chili out of Open Bar. Well done, sir.), lots of beers, a come from behind victory for our beloved G-Men, and a post-game celebration with friends and strangers at three (or was it four?) bars right in the heart of the winning town.

I can't get enough of it. I've watched SportsCenter all day, read every paper in New York, cover to cover (even the Sun), and scoured espn.com for tidbits of information, pictures, and interviews. I've also watched the Helmet Catch about 17 times (side note: I am going to do a separate post polling our audience about naming Tyree's catch. "The Catch" is already taken, as is the "Immaculate Reception," so I think the "Helmet Catch" will work).

There's a football on my head!

And yet, I couldn't help but contrast last night's elation, and this morning's joyous hangover, with the utter devestation I felt just four months ago watching the Mets' season implode, or the year before that, sitting at Shea, waiting for Beltran to hit that curveball. I keep coming back to a fundamental question about being a sports fan: why on earth do I care this much?

I am an adult, I have a job (usually) in a field that is totally unrelated to sports, I am intelligent, and generally pretty responsible. Eli Manning doesn't know who I am, and has no obligation or reason to care. Plaxico Burress will never ask me for my autograph. But despite all that, I am absolutely devestated when "my" team loses the big game, and numbingly elated when they win.

I am sure there is an explanation. Something about in-group/out-group theories in psychology, about wanting to feel part of a team, about the vicarious thrill we get from seeing others succeed. Or maybe it's the camraderie that is shared by fans in the stands or in the bar, the excitement of predicting, criticizing, and wondering. To be honest though, even though I wonder about it sometimes, when all is said and done, I don't care why I care. I just do.

It might be that it is a little silly to get so invested in it, to jump up and scream like idiots because some guy caught a football three thousand miles from here. It may not be worth getting so down when your team loses, which all but one of them is guaranteed to do every single year, in every single sport. It could be that there are better things to do with a Sunday afternoon than sitting inside a dark bar in a random town because there is just no way you are missing a game.

Maybe, but the Giants just won the Superbowl.

So this is what it feels like, huh?

Holyfuckingshit.

Son of a left-handed biscuit. (hat tip to Dr. Whatley, inventor of Tide)

By the power of Grayskull.

Oh my balls.

Great ghosts of Gargamel's Balls.

Balls of Mount Balls' Scrote.

K-Fed ate my baby's balls.

Those are a few of the nonsensical utterings my overwhelmed brain has coughed up over the last few hours. Brutal hangover notwithstanding, I now know what the limits of my central nervous system are. In other words, I've literally reached that point where something so extraordinary and unfathomable has occurred that I have no method of processing it. Instead, I tend to sit here open-mouthed (a la Eli), occasionally blinking myself back into awareness, only to be forced to reconsider the course of events of the last 24 hours.

This is a world where a marginal player can somehow catch a football-shaped ball with his FUCKING HELMET. A world in which I am humbled.

A world where one team can enter the Super Bowl with the never-before-achieved record of 18-0, then lose to a team led by a quarterback affectionately known as "the crappy one" in his family even when his oldest brother is some finance chump.

A world where, while watching the game last night, I screamed "Gisele's been to the abortion clinic four times already this month" and "I hope Wes Welker's children die," yet still, somehow, the Gods of Karma chose to...reward my over-the-top hostility and downright nastiness?

Where the fuck am I?

In my sports-watching life, the team I care about most -- the Mets -- has won one championship. That was in 1986, and at age 8, I had no proper perspective to appreciate the its magnitude. As if to hammer that point home, a few months later, the team I care about second-most -- the Giants -- won the Super Bowl. Four years after that, the Giants won it all again. Those three games -- each absolutely wonderful and spendiferous and scrumtrelecent, yes -- are it, though. Other than those three games, I have nothing but heartbreak, disappointment, and rage in my experience column.

That's why it's both beautiful and baffling to me as I sit here trying my hardest to compute what happened last night. It's been 17 years since I've been able to call my team Champion. In those 17 years, there have been some notable events which I, and those odd Giants/Mets fans have endured: the 49ers game, the not-even-close Super Bowl loss to the Ravens, this past September's Mets collapse, and, most painfully, a World Series loss to my most-hated enemy.

At this point, I feel conditioned to events like that. But for events like actually, you know, succeeding, alas, I got nothing.

I can say this though: It does feel quite nice. That surely sounds deserving of a Captain Obvious tag, but as I've never been old enough to properly experience something like this, "nice" is goddamn eloquent, nay Shakespearean, okay?

Holy humping Moses Malone's Tits, this feels good.

A-Mazing

As documented in our blog, I'm not necessarily the biggest sports fan going but I couldn't help but get caught up in tonight's Super Bowl and the Giant's gripping playoff run.

My more avid Giant-fans co-bloggers will expand but I just want to take a moment to revel in tonight's win.

Congratulations to the whole Giants team, especially Eli Manning who overcame mad doubters (myself included, admittedly) to win the Super Bowl - becoming the Super Bowl MVP in the process.

Also, props to Plaxico for standing up for the G-Men during the week and not backing down.

A GIANT fuck you to Bill Belichick, you sore losing, fuck-you-touchdown scoring, cheating, Jets abandoning, home wrecking fucking douche bag.

Luke, I am your cheater.

Also, a GIANT fuck you goes out to Tiki Barber, you announcing your retirement half-way through the seasoning, shit talking your former team while Today Show hosting, caterpillar eyebrow having, coach hating even though he taught you how not to be fumbling and going down like a Chuck Knoblauch, rooting for the other teaming and Eli Manning clowning after you're retired bitch!

Don't worry Tiki, you may never win a Super Bowl but you could still land a spot on The View when Babarbara Walters retires.

NNN

As Winston Wolf put it...

..."Let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet."

What to think about the Giants' victory? Side Bar put it very well earlier (and read his post below, plus his excellent State of the Mets post before that), but my strongest reaction to tonight's game is...

How the fuck did this happen?

Earlier this year, I was fairly certain the Giants would suck. And by "suck," I don't just mean Godfather III suckage. I was thinking more like Showgirls. Going 0-16 was totally reasonable to me. Hey, we'd get the first draft pick, right?

But then the season started. After the first two games -- which, deserves to be noted, were losses to the now-defeated Cowboys and the next-up Packers -- I felt vindicated. Game three revealed a new side to the G-men, in a quality win against the Redskins. Following that, Big Blue ripped five more victories. Halfway through the season, we were 6-2. Not bad, right? Unless you remember that we were 6-2 in 2006 and 2005. This year, a second-half collapse not only seemed inevitable, it seemed justified. This team just wasn't good enough to merit any optimism.

I'm not sure how, but by the end of the regular season, the Giants were 10-6 and in the playoffs. I still refused to believe the team was any good. A mere matter of strength of schedule, I thought. The Giants beat up on some crappy teams, but against a talented foe, they were hopeless. Late-season losses to the Vikings and the rejuvenated Redskins seemed to confirm this.

Thankfully, 3 of the 4 writers of this venerable blog decided to do something about it. On December 23, 2007, we played the Toilet Bowl. A marvelous competition of the highest order. Fun was had by all. (And, I ask again, where the hell is the write-up of that game, dammit?!)

Following that, we headed over to Vinny O's to nurse our wounds and drink ourselves silly. But most importantly, we went to support the Giants as they entered the freezing atmosphere of Buffalo. The previous week's game gave no indication that these footballers would step up. But goddammit, we went there to drink our support in pitchers!

That Sunday afternoon, after we had given all we had on the Benjamin Franklin Middle School North Field, the Giants gave all they had on that field in Buffalo. Suddenly, Eli Manning remembered how to pass. Corey Webster finally lived up to the promise he showed me when he played for the national-champion LSU Tigers in 2003. And a newcomer named Ahmad Bradshaw ran for 150+ yards.

The Giants left Buffalo with a new confidence. On behalf of the staff of Where's Luke?, I would like to extend a huge "You're Welcome!" Clearly, after all, we inspired that performance.

Since then, the G-men have played their best football since, I dunno, 2000? When they went to the Super Bowl? I think so.

These last few games have been awesome. In particular, the victory over the Cowboys. I haven't had a moment of sports elation like that in a long time. It was typical of the games the Giants have lost, year after year. Up until R.W. McQuarters' (incredibly awesome) interception of Romo's pass in the end zone, I was 100 percent certain they would lose. I was happily, oh so happily, proven wrong.

But!

Remember what the Wolf said. Remember that this team still isn't that good. The secondary is hanging by a thread. No Shockey. Plaxico's ankle is about as solid as the housing market. And Eli could very easily regress.

I will head into the Packers game the same way I have the past few weeks. I don't think they're gonna win, and for good reason. But there's a certain element of luck involved in any postseason. Any team can get hot, and ride that hot streak to a championship. But don't forget -- even if we beat the Packers, who will be waiting in the Super Bowl?

P.S.: I feel obligated to give Tom Coughlin a little credit for something. The last few years, bullshit penalties have not only killed the Giants, but it flew in the face of the conventional wisdom of Coughlin as a disciplinarian. However, tonight, the Giants were penalized 3 times for 25 yards, while the Cowboys were 11-84. This year, the penalties were not the problem that they were during the past few seasons. It's fairly obvious to point out that if you don't commit dumb mistakes, you'll do better. But people rarely give proper credit when something doesn't happen, and this year the Giants have played a much more disciplined game. That's definitely one reason they've improved, and -- even though I still don't like him much -- credit is due. Tom Coughlin, well done.

Popcorn Kernels

I am planning on writing a lot more about the Giants' stunning 21-17 upset of the Cowboys (either by way of an update to this post or a separate post), but a few preliminary observations come to mind:

1. The Giants were completely unable to tackle Marion Barber in the first half, and mostly contained him in the second half. A few of us watching the game observed that the Giants were tackling him much lower in the second half, which stopped Barber from evading the first tackle. If Coughlin and/or his assistants were the ones to address this at halftime, it is a tangible example of excellent coaching.

2. The Giants' offensive numbers were somewhat unimpressive, but that may have been due to the solid field position they were given by the solid kickoff and punt returns they enjoyed most of the day (when was the last time kick returns were one of the reasons the Giants won a game?)

3. R.W. McQuarters . . . Open Bar and I forgive you. For everything. What a game.

4. Eli Manning. He is far from Tom Brady at this point, and there are still plenty of reasons to be skeptical, but in his last three games (two of which were playoff games), Eli is 54 of 77 for 599 yards, eight touchdowns, and one interception. This quarterback and this team picked a spectacular time to play their best football of the year.

5. I would have paid money for the shot of T.O. crying after the game to reporters. It's tremendously satisfying to see a guy with that much arrogance ("getcha popcorn ready") cut down a few notches.

Take A Step Back There, Mad Dog

This post is for Mad Dog Chris Russo, Evan Roberts, Mark Maloussis, the hundreds of callers and thousands of listeners of WFAN who have been bitching about the Giants game against the Patriots in week 17. These guys are talking about how the Giants are not just playing against the Patriots, and not just considering their own season, which will commence for real the following week with a playoff game most likely against the Tampa Bay Bucs, but are instead playing against the history of the NFL. These guys feel that the Giants shouldn't go about resting guys like Plaxico Burress, Jeremy Shockey, Brandon Jacobs, Antonio Pierce, and the numerous other Giants nursing injuries, despite the fact that the game will be meaningless relative to this year's playoff picture, because the Giants owe it to the league to put forth a real effort so the Patriots can feel great about themselves for going 16-0.

There are two points you all are missing here. First is that this game will be absolutely meaningless to the playoff picture. The Giants are really banged up and those guys could use all the rest they can get. That's the minor point.

The major point is that even if the Giants were firing on all cylinders and were completely healthy, they wouldn't have a 5 years old's chance in church to win that game. Let's be serious. The Giants have a chance to beat most of the teams in the league, despite some of their deficiencies, but the Giants could never even dream of beating the Patriots, or the Colts or Cowboys, for that matter. So let's stop with the integrity of the league nonsense, and let the Giants rest their guys for the game that actually matters, and the game that they might actually win.

I refuse to believe this

At the start of October, after suffering through one of the most continuously stressful and agonizing months of my recent history as I watched the Mets complete their monumentally crushing collapse, I was a man without a country. At that time:

• The Mets, as I said, were done
• The yanks were still in the playoffs, and looking like they had a shot of extending my pain at least past the ALDS (boy, was I wrong, YAY!)
• Rutgers, whom I recently adopted as my official college football team, had just suffered an embarrassing home loss, thus ruining any hopes of a national championship (and the loss was to Maryland, a hellbound ACC team, to top it off)
• The Knicks are...well, the Knicks. The travails of Steph and Isiah may make for interesting gossip fodder, but how can I possibly pull myself to actually root for a team as full of fuckheads and dumbasses as the New York Knickerbockers? (I kinda like David Lee, I guess, but that just ain't gonna do it.)
• The Rangers are...well, I don't really give much of a shit about hockey. If the Rangers do really well, then sometimes I watch.

And then there were the Giants.

"I was clearly adopted."

I firmly believed the G-men had a decent shot at going 0-16 this year, thus securing the No. 1 overall draft pick. And this year's corps of running backs is the best-looking group in a long time (Darren McFadden, Mike Hart, Ray Rice, Steve Slaton -- if he enters the draft, and a lot more that I'm forgetting). The Giants could sure use a top-flight back, but even if they chose a different route, it would've been the first pick!

And right on schedule, they looked goddamn AWFUL the first two games, giving up 80 points and fully fueling my certainty of a winless season.

But since then, things have changed. Things look different now. I don't know which player found Aladdin's lamp or blew Satan or what, but that truly terrible and pathetic team from the first two weeks has rattled off four straight wins. And the worst part? These games haven't even really been that close. (They've outscored their opponents 106-64) Which should be great news, right?

WRONG.

It's a fucking trap.

If you're a true Giants fan, you know exactly why I say that. Anyone who has watched this team for (at least) the last few years understands that in four weeks, when we play the Cowboys (5-1) again, we could very easily be 4-4, despite playing cupcakes like San Fran (2-3) and Miami (0-6).

And before you know it, it's a 5-11 season and spring training is nearly in sight.

The defense has looked great, which is inexplicable. I saw them in weeks 1-2 -- that is the true defense, if you ask me. And though the offense is surely better than the D, Eli is still prone to throwing the occasional duck that too easily winds up in some free safety's hands.

So I guess I'm just saying that I'm not getting my hopes up. If you're some 6-year-old kid reading this blog (FUCK SHIT CUNT PUSSY CUNNILINGUS FRENCH-KISSING), then I can understand your optimism. But just know -- and take it from a longtime fan -- the Giants will fuck this up. Now having raised your expectations, they will bring them crashing down with the weight of a blue whale, reducing your hopes and dreams to rubble.

That is, unless they can prove me wrong.

(And one final thing: Is Eli Manning ever going to close his mouth? I seriously don't think I've ever seen him with his mouth shut. Watch the game next week and I guarantee that on every close-up, whether on the field or the sideline, he'll have that same stupid half-open mouth that I'm sure just oozes confidence and instills faith in his teammates during the huddle.

Anyway, let's go G-men! You rule! I totally heart you guys!)