The.
Hate.
I.
Mets.
(author ties noose around his neck while trying to organize thoughts)
Guaranteed: Sportswriters tomorrow draw the connection between the Mets blowing a seven-run lead in tonight's game to them blowing a seven-and-a-half-game lead last season.
I hate to say it, but the Mets were in first earlier tonight, now the Phillies are. So the BLATANTLY FUCKING OBVIOUS CONNECTION THAT WILL BE TOTALLY OVERPLAYED is actually somewhat accurate. In spite of the stupidity.
In conclusion, I hate the Mets. Fuck you all.
Okay fine, I'll watch tomorrow's game.
And the next one.
And the next one.
Time to read some Camus.
(sigh)
How 'bout those Giants! Oh yeah. The whole Umenyora thing. Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Fuck.
Boy these pickles taste good.
No. No, they don't. Even pickles don't taste good anymore.
(cries)
Is there good left in the world? I doubt it.
(author jumps off milk crate, neck snaps)
(in heaven, author has three-way with Angelina Jolie that Australian swimmer chick Stephanie Rice. Nice!)