Blog Fatigue

Just because we only had 3 posts this month, an all time low, it's clearly time for a visit from our spokesmodel.

Ground Zero Mosque: Naked Chicks Edition

Earlier this week, we offered up some cutting satire about the so-called Ground Zero Mosque controversy. We laughed, we cried; it was better than Cats.

Today our focus turns to some of the other affronts to human dignity within sultry strutting distance of the WTC site: strip clubs. Both New York Dolls and the Pussycat Lounge are close enough to the WTC site for workers to make a pilgrimage at lunch, or just visit five times a day (too much?). (Note: I can't access the link because our computers at work have all sorts of filters, etc. I assume it's fine, but you've been warned).

[see above re: big brother; now imagine a picture of a really hot stripper here]

God Bless America!

Apparently it is insensitive and an insult to those who died on 9/11 to construct an interfaith Muslim community center within a few blocks of the WTC site. But there is nothing wrong with some light human trafficking and sexual debauchery around the corner. Got it?

Conditional props go to the Wall Street Journal for picking this up and writing it down. The condition is because they are right-leaning and the story was a little too fair and balanced for my taste (like actually fair and balanced; not the way Sean Hannity means it), but props because anyone with 1/10th of a brain (i.e., most of the WSJ's readers - zing!) would appreciate the contrast between people getting fired up about a church (yes, a church, that's all it is to them you bigots) on the one hand and nobody giving a shit about a bunch of strip clubs on the other. (Run-on sentence alert. Open Bar awards me -5 points).

According to the WSJ:

As supporters held signs extolling religious freedom at the site of the proposed Islamic center Wednesday, a stripper who gave her name as Cassandra was working the afternoon shift at New York Dolls on Murray Street — just around the corner.

“I don’t know what the big deal is,” Cassandra said. “It’s freedom of religion, you know?”

And according to Chris, a stripper who volunteered in the Ground Zero recovery, and who lost eight friends on Sept. 11, 2001 - firefighters from the Brooklyn firehouse next to her home at the time:

“They’re not building a mosque in the World Trade Center,” she pointed out. “It’s all good. You have your synagogues and your churches. And you have a mosque.” She concluded: “The people who did it are not going to the mosque.”

Amen. Out of the mouths of babes . . .

Two Women I'm A Little Bit In Love With

With apologies to my lovely wife, I feel like I'd like to put this out there. I don't feel too bad about this because, as I say, it's really that I'm only a little bit in love with them. Also I know that my wife is also in love with one or two people. In fact, if Paul Rudd were to come up to my wife and ask her to run away with him, not only would I understand, I would actually be happy for her because she loves him so much. So anyhow, here are the two women that I'm a little bit in love with.

First, Zooey Deschanel.


Second, Rashida Jones. Based on the first paragraph, you can see why my wife and I went to see I Love You, Man on opening weekend.

Blog Fatigue

Side Bar summed it up nicely:

I get bored of seeing the same thing on the blog, and when we go more than a few days without a new post, it sort of sucks. And that is particularly the case when the most recent post is (a) yours and (b) kind of shitty.

This post is my solution to that problem.

we can't be friends, E.

Let's Get Ready To Thimble!!

After a hiatus of way too long, Project Runway is finally back tonight. Don't forget that it switched to the Lifetime channel, so you have to watch it there. If you've seen this show, then I know you love it, so that's all I have to say. If you've never seen this show then you're just assuming it's a wack show and that it's way too gay for you to like, but you're wrong. This is the best reality show on television by a long shot. And if you combine with this fabulosity the fact that Top Chef premiered last night on the Bravo channel (and I know Mrs. Side Bar was glued), it's a great week for reality television. Top Chef is a comfortable second in reality show standings. And just in case you're still thinking, "I can't watch these shows, they're way too gay," let me just point out that these two shows are hosted by conceivably the two hottest women on the planet, Heidi Klum and Padma Lakshmi.

Blog Fatigue

I get bored of seeing the same thing on the blog, and when we go more than a few days without a new post, it sort of sucks. And that is particularly the case when the most recent post is (a) yours and (b) kind of shitty.

This post is my solution to that problem.

Chwing!

If I am going to look at the same post for a week, it might as well be this one.

Funny = Hot: Part Deux

I'll stick with Janeane Garofalo as the person who's good looking-ness increases the most because she's funny, but the rest of you are calling for a recall, then I'll offer a couple more. One at Open Bar's suggestion, and another who I'm now going to put into the number one spot, that I assume will also be assailed by my blogmates. So fuck you guys in advance.

Addendum #1 - Amy Poehler



Amy is cute as a button. Are buttons cute? What does that even mean? Interestingly she's the most versatile cast memeber on SNL because she's not traditionally good looking, in the sense that she plays a lot of teenage boys on the show, and her best character, Caitlin, (Rick, Rick, Rick, it's only 8 hours 'til uncle Rob's wedding and I get to be a bridesmaid walking down the aisle all ba-da-da-da, ba-de-da-da. That doesn't translate as well in print) is like a 9 year old girl. But then since she is so funny, bam, hotter. Also she's married to Will Arnett, who was in Arrested Development and Blades of Glory, so that's extra bonus points. Did you see their Gap ad over Christmas time? So cute.

The new #1 person whose hotness is increased by her funniness - Kathy Griffin



First of all, before you get all riled up about this, Kathy Griffin is 47 years old. She's not gonna win any beauty contests, but the fact that she is hysterically funny makes her mad cool, and therefore much more attractive than she would otherwise be. The focus of that point being the "otherwise would be". PS - Watch her reality show if and when it comes back on the air. Awesome. Or if you can catch one of her stand up routines on like the Bravo channel then watch it. I know I know, you're saying, "I'm not gay. I don't watch Bravo". Well, maybe you should start.

Funny = Hot

I'm prepared to offer several examples of some ladies who are made hotter by the fact that they are funny (incidentally, this is the first post with the "hot women" label. I, for one, am surprised). The idea is to do this in countdown form with the number one person being the one who gains the most on her attractiveness relative to her objective beauty, though we'll see how that actually works out.

Anyway, I feel I'm pretty close to proving this theory: Funny = Hot. I think the reason that funny ladies are good looking is because finding someone funny is finding some sort of common ground. Also people who are funny have to be pretty smart, and intelligence is definitely attractive. I'm of the opinion that life is pretty absurd in general, so people who seem to have come to the same conclusion are all pretty cool in my book. And then once a woman is cool, it's just a short step to becoming attractive.

Number 4 - Chelsea Handler

Ok, Chelsea Handler is good looking to begin with. But then when she starts talking shit on her talk show, Chelsea Lately, on the E! channel, and she's goddamned hysterical, and you want to leave your life as it is and in a reverse Eat, Pray, Love (no one else watches Oprah?)type of situation, head out to LA and marry her. By the way, if you're wondering who Chelsea Handler is, you should watch her show on the E! channel. It's stupid funny.

Number 3 - Sarah Silverman

Sara Silverman is also pretty good looking to begin with in my opinion, but I've heard differing views. Interestingly, the people who think she's not funny at all also tend to be the people who think she's not good looking. I think this serves to prove the point. I can understand if you don't think she's funny, but for me, she's one of the funniest people out there. It's like you see a beautiful rose out in a garden and then that rose starts cursing at you and talking about fucking Matt Damon, and it's just really funny to me.

Number 2 - Tina Fey

Dude, it's definitely the glasses here. Glasses are really sexy. Also the funny thing. And she doesn't take herself too seriously, obviously. I mean, a good portion of her show, 30 Rock, is about how lame she is and how she generally sucks at life (shout out to MECG's sister CC, for the "sucks at life" reference).

Number 1 - Janeane Garofalo

Janeane is objectively kindof funny looking, but I've always thought she was really funny and, as a result, kindof good looking. She's recently gone a little bit crazy with the outspoken uber-liberal thing. That's less funny, and also less attractive.