Deja Blue

That's not mine . . . I read it somewhere and I liked it; so kudos to whoever came up with it (though I am pretty sure it wasn't this guy).

In the two weeks leading up to Superbowl 46 (I am not doing the Roman numeral thing), I was pretty content with the distinct possibility that the Giants would lose to the Patriots this time round. The 2011 Pats were a very good team. Don't listen to people who say otherwise; bad teams don't go 13-3. The New England defense had improved drastically in the second half of the season (though, admittedly, it could only go in one direction) and Tom Brady is one of the best quarterbacks in the history of football. Throw in some intangibles like some cockiness out of the Giants, the supposed emotional heft to this game for the Pats because of the death of Mrs. Kraft, the revenge factor, the Brady-played-shitty-against-the-Ravens-and-now-he's-pissed factor, and it all seemed to point to a Patriots' win. In fact, Open Bar and I were out before the game and I confided in him that, gun to my head, I would pick the Pats to win the game. (To his credit, he picked the Giants).

I was really not bothered by the idea of losing, though, because the win in Superbowl 42 was so amazing, so exciting, so gut-wrenching, and so unbelievable, that I didn't think anything could ever come close to that again - not even another win. Nothing could take that last one away. And even if the Patriots' won and gave their fans a chance to say that 42 was a fluke, I just didn't care. That night in February of 2008 was just so much fun and so perfect that I figured there was no possible way to recapture it.

But I think that maybe last night did recapture it - or at least came closer than I thought was possible. They did it all over again. This group of Giants (football players all!) -- nearly a quarter of them veterans of what was probably the most unlikely Superbowl win of all time -- somehow managed to rip our stomachs out through our throats again and reward us with a win that was every bit as exciting, improbable and impossible as the last one. If the David Tyree "Helmet Catch" was one of the most exciting plays in the history of the Superbowl, the Manning-to-Manningham throw and catch might have been one of the best.

And while that play tops the list of similarities between 46 and 42, it was hardly the only one. This game was practically a repeat of the last win. The fumbles that didn't go the Patriots' way, the halftime lead for New England, that creeping, sinking feeling in the second half that maybe the impossible run was going to come up one game short, the late scoring drive, the devastating sack of Brady on the final drive, and a hail mary that came up short for the Pats.

For all of us, too, the setting was uncannily similar. Just a few blocks north of the apartment we watched the last one in, we got to do it all over again. Same crowd, same too many beers, same chili (sofuckinggood, dude), same post-game celebration on the Upper West Side (hat tip to New York's finest for not writing us a ticket for open containers. Not making this up: we were drinking beers and high-fiving strangers on 110th and Amsterdam. OB was drinking right out of a champagne bottle. And, when a police car drove up, they stared us, we stared back sort of awkwardly, and one of the officers gets on the speaker and says "just take it inside, guys." So we did).

When the Giants won Superbowl 42, I wrote that "last night was one of the most exciting nights of my life, and one I really do not think I will ever forget. In fact, other than the night I got engaged, and the day I got married, it may have been the very best." Since then, I've welcomed two amazing kids into the world, so 42 has been notched down a peg or two on my list. But now it's got some company.

Deja vu.

Tik-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I know it is not "nice" to take pleasure in the suffering of others, but I think we can all be forgiven for reveling in this little nugget of schadenfreude for a few days . . .

Barber's personal and professional life have been in shambles recently. In April 2010, Barber reportedly left his wife of 11 years, Ginny, for 23-year-old Traci Johnson, a former NBC intern. Ginny was eight months pregnant at the time. Soon after, NBC cited its morals clause and terminated Barber's contract, which reportedly paid him more than $300,000 per year.

In June 2010, the New York Post reported Barber was broke and couldn't pay his divorce settlement with his ex-wife.

Tikki, on behalf of all of us here at Wheeeeeeeeeeere's Luke?, I would just like to say: suck it, sir. Suck it.

Dear the Jets

You're welcome. Yeah, that's right. You beat the Patriots. Way to go. Good on you. You slayed the Brady-Manning dragon in successive weeks, and now everyone is pulling for you to pull the AFC hat trick en route to the Superbowl by cutting the always classy Ben Roethlisberger down a few pegs.

So I say again: you're welcome.

In December of 2008 the New York football Giants gave up a ton of points and lost to these same (or similar) New England Patriots in a regular season game, only to beat them a few weeks later in the greatest game thing that has ever been played happened. Sound familiar?

There are still no words.

How did the Giants do it? How did they beat the team of the 21st century? They did something that no team had been able to do for most of the last decade: they designed a game plan that neutralized Tom Brady.

First, you run the ball. It eats the clock and keeps Brady off of the field. Next, you blitz like crazy. Brady hates to throw under pressure, hates to get hit, and needs time to adjust to it. And third -- and by far the most important -- is that you change it up before he can adjust to the pressure. You mix it up at the line of scrimmage with defensive audibles and fake looks. So when you've blitzed him every down for three, four, five series in a row, you drop back into coverage and he has nowhere to go.

Sound familiar? It should, because that's exactly what the Jets did to the P-EE-triots (Simms, Phil) on Sunday night. They were a bit less effective with the run than the Giants were in 2008 (though they still would have held the ball longer than the Pats but for a seven-plus minute drive in the fourth quarter). But they were almost perfect on defense: Brady was hit seven times, sacked five and forced to throw his first interception since he was eight years old. He was under pressure from every angle, but then suddenly he wasn't. Expecting pressure, he would instead have all day to throw, but no one was open. Of his sixteen incomplete passes, at least five or six were balls that were just thrown away.

There is no doubt in my mind that the Patriots were the best team in the NFL this year. To beat them, the Jets needed to execute a perfect game plan perfectly. The players get credit for the execution, but they have the 2007-08 Giants to thank for the blueprints.

Fuck You, The Giants

Fuck you, Osi Umenyiora, you non-sack having, non-run play playing.........You know what? Much like the 2009 Giants and this season, I just don't have the heart to finish this post with any fervor.

You guys remember that time the Giants won the Super Bowl? That was awesome.

Who Dat!

The Saints are incredible. They round out the season at Washington, at Atlanta, hosting Dallas, hosting Tampa Bay, and at Carolina. I am not sure how any of those teams are going to beat them. Anything can happen, and there are always upsets that no one sees coming, but other than the Dallas game, I do not see any of those teams coming close to beating the Saints.

On the other side of the aisle, the Colts have a pretty easy schedule left, too. But they have not been as dominant as the Saints, and if you had to pick one to go undefeated I think you would absolutely pick the Saints. The Colts' last five games are host Tennessee, host Denver, at Jacksonville, host the Jets, and at Buffalo. Jacksonville on the road jumps out - that's probably where they lose if they lose at all. But the Jets are sneaky and Denver is pretty good, so I am not banking on the Colts going 16-0.

This would be a great Superbowl no matter what, but if they are both 16-0 and go to the Superbowl at 18-0, it will be awesome.

The Problem With The Giants

The short answer: The Giants have been sucking at every aspect of the game recently.

The longer answer: The Giants have been sucking at every aspect of the game recently. Most inexplicable is their defensive pass rush. They have proven pass rushers and, for some reason, have been incapable all season of actually pressuring the opposing quarterback. I really have no explanation for why Justin Tuck, Osi Unmenyiora, Matthias Kiwanuka, Black Fred, et al have been unable to put on any sort of pass rush. The rest of their defense is terrible at the moment. They're down to like their 5th string cornerback and 4th string inside linebackers. I understand why the secondary is not playing well, but I don't understand why the defensive line can't do them any favors. It's possible you could make an argument about since the secondary sucks so bad that other offenses can afford to keep more gies back in pass protection, but you couldn't do that on every play, nor does that really even make a lot of sense in terms of offensive scheming.

More explicable is their offense. It seems pretty clear to me at this juncture that the reason their offense has been so bad is because of the offensive line. Yes, it's true that the offensive line has been their cornerstone for the last 4 seasons, but I think it's precisely that reason that the line is falling apart now. They have played essentially every game in the last 4 seasons together. In that time, Kareem McKenzie has missed one game (this season, not coincidentally) and Diehl, O'Hara, Seubert, and Snee have missed none. The gies' reputation is that they pound the crap out of defenses and open up holes for the running game. They know where they're all going to be on pass protection and are therefore better at it than other teams. This is all well and good while they're all healthy, but that doesn't seem to be the case. There's a reason why every other offensive line in the league has been less durable and I think the wear and tear is finally catching up with them.

Brandon Jacobs is not doing anything differently, there just aren't any holes opened up. The Giants young, unproven receiving corps is has not really let them down this year. Rather, Eli has been pressured to the extent that he hasn't had time to throw to them. As much as the O-line has meant to this team, perhaps it's time to think about rejuvenating it heading into next season. O'Hara is in his 10th season, McKenzie and Seubert are both in their 9th, and Diehl and Snee are in their 7th and 6th, respectively. McKenzie in particular seems to be breaking down this season.

The Giants definitely are capable of making the playoffs this year, but they're gonna need to turn it around quickly. They have to without a doubt beat the Eagles in 2 weeks. They would be well served to beat the Cowboys next week, though it's not a 100% must win, it would be much better if they did. Assuming they beat the Iggles, they'd have to win at least 2 of their last 3 against Washington, Carolina, and a nothing to play for Minnesota. They're basically in a 3 way race with the Iggles and Packers for the 2 wild card spots right now, but at the moment they're on the outside looking in.

This is basically unrelated to their struggles, but I also just want to point out that I hate watching the G-Men come to the line with 20 seconds on the play clock and then watching Eli point out the mike, say "Omaha" 4 times, turn around and talk with the backs, send someone in motion, snap the ball with 1 second left on the play clock, and then just run off tackle. I understand that this is a fairly complicated game, much more so than all other professional sports, and that coordinating the movements of 22 people on the field is a big job. But seriously, isn't the run off tackle the simplest possible play you could be running? Block the hole open with the O-line, send a lead blocker in there, and hand the ball off. What's the deal with the rest of this?

Also unrelated to their struggles, and actually this point is helping them forward. I like how Eli is recognized now as the leader of the team. That was definitely not the case in the Tiki, Shockey years, and even through their Super Bowl run there were lingering questions. All of this lends to my thesis, "Fuck you, Tiki Barber, you prima donna, non-interview skill having, mid-season retiring, spotlight stealing hoe."

Fourth and Doh!

I am not as smart as Steven Levitt, but I definitely didn't think Belichick should be ridiculed as much as he was for going for it on fourth down last night. As it turns out, not only should he not be criticized that much for it, he might have made the statistically better decision.

So chill out, Boston. Your coach made a defensible call and the team couldn't execute (or, it seems, play defense in the second half). Want to blame someone? Blame Peyton Manning who torched your secondary all night long.

And props to Joe Montana. Why? Because, apparently, during the week leading up to the game, all 20 living hall of fame quarterbacks were asked who they would rather have - Manning or Brady. Manning won a decisive vote - 13.5- 2.5 (four abstentions). But Montana was the only one to split the vote, saying he would take Brady in the first half, Manning in the second half. As it turned out, that was precisely the right pick last night.

Also, the Giants suck.

Darrelle Revis is a football player

And Dan Dierdorff is the worst. Props to the Sports Guy for calling him out on this idiotic kind of broadcasting.

What the Eff, America? Football Crimes Edition

Donte Stallworth went and got drunk and decided to drive his Bentley home. On his way home he killed a dude who was trying to cross the street. For driving drunk and killing a guy, Stallworth served 30 days in prison.

Michael Vick funded and participated in a dog fighting ring for over six years. In that time he regularly tortured and killed dogs. He pitted them against each other, electrocuted them, drowned them, and he didn't stop until he was found out by the police. He was sentenced to 23 months in prison, and he served 18 months.

Plaxico Burress decided to go out to a night club in his sweatpants and also to bring a gun in case he got mugged, like his teammate Steve Smith had been only a few days prior. The gun slipped out of the waistband of his sweatpants (you can't make this shit up) and discharged. Fortunately for Plax, the bullet hit him in the leg instead of somewhere else on his body or instead of someone else in the club. He went to the hospital, tried to hide the gun, and then came to his senses and told the truth about what happened within 24 hours of what happened. For this he was sentenced to 24 months in jail, and he will serve at least 20 months.

Is it just me, or are the punishments for these crimes going in reverse order of severity? This makes absolutely no goddamn sense. Plaxico's first mistake on that night was deciding to wear sweatpants to the club and his second was to bring his gun, but shit he didn't kill anyone or anything and he only injured himself. Sure he should be punished, but 2 years in prison for this? This is just grandstanding, pure and simple, by the mayor and the D.A. at a time when Bloomie is trying to get re-elected to a third term (it's gonna be harder than you think, Mike, though you'll win in the end, I bet, because you'll spend 50 times more money than the other gies combined).

And how can you fucking drive drunk and kill a guy and only go to jail for 30 days? 30 fucking days. Shit, next time I go out drinking, I'm gonna go out in Florida. This guy should be in prison for years and years, and instead he's already out.

This is getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous.

Wait, Are There Also No Do-Overs?

Donovan McNabb didn't realize that you could have a tie game in the NFL until yesterday when his game finished in a tie. Until the final play of the game, in which he was wondering why they coach was calling a Hail Mary pass, he thought that they were going to go into a 6th quarter.

Then, he said something to the effect of, "Well, I'd hate to see something like that happen in the playoffs or the Super Bowl," thus not realizing that there are no tie games in the playoffs. This second thing is clearly much stupider even than the first.

On SportsCenter they played calls from Philadelphia sports talk radio and they were killing McNabb. It was amazing. This one guy calls and says something like, "Here's McNabb who figures that the Super Bowl is tied after five quarters and they just shut it down and hand out two Lombardi Trophies." I guess it's like the Special Olympics.