Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Shut Up, Shula

Is Don Shula kidding?

From, on the potential for the Patriots to 16-0, the first perfect season for an NFL team since the 1972 Dolphins, whom Shula coached:

"The Spygate thing has diminished what they've accomplished," Shula said in an interview with the New York Daily News. "You would hate to have that attached to your accomplishments. They've got it."
On the cash and draft pick penalty assessed against the Patriots as a result of the videotaping scandal:
"That tells you the seriousness or significance of what they found," Shula said, according to the Daily News. "I guess you got the same thing as putting an asterisk by Barry Bonds' home run record.

"I guess it will be noted that the Patriots were fined and a No. 1 draft choice was taken away during that year of accomplishment. The sad thing is Tom Brady looks so good, it doesn't look like he needs any help.
Barry Bonds? Come on. What a dick. First of all, let's all settle down about the undefeated thing. The Pats are 9-0 and look unstoppable, but other teams have looked good and not gone all the way. The Pats have the Steelers and (ahem) the G-Men ahead of them, both good teams that could pull off an upset (side note: if the Pats are 15-0 going into the last game of the season at the Medowlands, and the Giants need a win to get in the playoffs or to get a home game, Strahan and Umenyiora will be at 110%. What do you do if you are the Patriots? Start Brady and risk injury, or sit Brady and risk losing the shot at the perfect season? Using the "do whatever your opponent would be least happy with" theory, I think they would start Brady. But still).

TB: "How bad is it doc?" Dr.:"You'll be on crutches for 6-8 weeks, Mr. Brady, and rehab will be 3-4 months, but as long as Giselle is on top, you're fine in, er, that other department."

Beyond that, though, anyone who thinks the Patriots wouldn't have beaten the Jets without the videotaping isn't watching the NFL this year. Marko Jokic, Nikki Lamparelli and Ethan Pavone could beat the Jets even if they were playing Andy rules and you weren't allowed to tackle any of the Jets. But stealing signs in week 1 has tainted the Patriots' season. Come on.

Finally, the last time I checked, the 1972 Dolphins went 14-0, because the schedule had to expand to its present 16 games. If we really want to talk about asterisks, let's throw that in to the mix. Would the Dolphins have been able to keep it together for two more weeks? Beats me, but which is more unrealistic: the 2007 Patriots lose to the god-awful 2007 Jets in week 1 when everyone is fresh and no one is dealing with injuries, or the fish lose one of two games at the end of a season when everyone is tired and banged up (side note: I wasn't sure where to put this, but I just wanted to point out that the 2007 Patriots, through nine wins, have scored 355 points, only 30 points shy of the 385 points scored by the 1972 Dolphins in all 14 of their games combined. Also their team logo is super gay).

For my part, I like the way Patriots' OLB Mike Vrabel responded:

I think that we try to go out there and play hard every week. And I don't think that guys are going to draw on an old retired coach and old washed up players to pump us up. We play hard. We try to go out there and play hard. That's our job every week is to go out there and play hard. To play for our team, my teammates, my coaches, the respect factor, that's what I try to go out and play for, and I think everybody else on our team does the same thing.
In sum, Don Shula is whiny little bitch with a small penis whose sole remaining claim to fame is in jeopardy, and he can't handle it.


The Notorious LJT said...

i agree, shula is being a bitch.

bill cowher, who is not made a good point a week or so ago - if the pats contiinue to be dicks and run up the score every week in order to show up every opponent, is someone going to cheap shop tom brady as a retaliation?

these guys are a great team but bellichek seems like he's a major league asshole

ChuckJerry said...

As long as the Pats are undefeated, they will go out and put in 100% into every game. Belichick is not going to pull his gies at the end of the season just to rest them for the playoffs, especially after this.

I don't think the spygate thing was nearly as bad as they're making it out to be. The only bad thing about it was that the league specifically asked them not to do the taping and they did it anyway. I don't think they could have gained a significant advantage over other teams.

And Shula is being a bitch.

Open Bar said...

It would totally make my year to see Ethan Pavone throw a chop block on Hank Poteat, springing Colin Fass around the right corner up the sideline for a gain of 12.

And Shula should take ride on the Waaahmbulance.

Anonymous said...

I don't even know the details other than the Pats were illegally using videotape to get details about other teams plays, right?

If that's the case, then how does it NOT taint their season? Play calling / coaching is tremendously more important in football than, say, in baseball, where Joe Torre can spit sunflower seeds with his hat perched on his head like Dave Strauss in TBO for three hours, get Mariano in the 8th, and be considered great.

I'm not saying they wouldn't be great anyway, but it certainly is worth mentioning that the Patriots did cheat.