Some of us remember seeing the renowned "Side Bar Defense" in action when we were younger. Some of you may have seen a brief demo during LJT's Best Man speech at SB's wedding. For those of you somehow completely unfamiliar with it, what happens is that when someone (say, your older brother?) starts attacking you, your best maneuver is to get down on the ground and keep your feet and legs between your face and your opponent.
In other words, something like this: (skip to about the 3:50 mark)
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I was going to observe how effective of a defense it was, until that other guy pummeled the shit out of him.
The story of how this fight came about is actually pretty funny. You should watch from the beginning of the clip. This Fred Ettish guy is a last-minute replacement for some other guy (who actually can fight). It takes a second for the other guy (Johnny Rhodes) to figure out that he's facing a complete chump. But once he does, the severe beating ensues.
I must say, the guy did seem pretty confused for a while. Maybe if you just need a while to compose yourself before delivering your own assault, there would be some merit to the defense.
Two comments:
1) The guy who used the S.B. defense should not ever be allowed to fight again for money - on the grounds that he is a pussy. Why would he ever want to, anyway? (Yes, I suppose I am indirectly calling the Side Bar Defense a pussy move. It's not for a regular person, Side Bar. For a "fighter" in a karate uniform, though, it's pussy.)
2) Watch shortly after the 3:50 mark (around 4:08) how he tries to take out the other guy's front leg and his legs aren't strong enough to make the other guy's front leg bend. Wow. Pretty bad.
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