Quite Probably The Dumbest Movie Ever Made

I didn't have high hopes when I went to see Transformers last night, but even so, my hopes were not met. It was easily the dumbest movie I've ever seen. I wouldn't go so far to say that it was the worst movie I've seen, as the effects were cool and Shia Lebouf is pretty entertaining, but good lord in heaven, the plot had more holes than, than, something with lots of holes in it. I was beside myself last night after leaving the theater and I was actually upset for having been subjected to a movie that clearly sucked by the filmmakers.

Here's what I don't understand. First of all, I already mentioned the glaring plot holes and ridiculousness. From the first line of the movie I was thinking to myself, "You've got to be kidding me. The way you explain how living robots who can transform into everyday machines manage to exist in a universe alongside humans is to say, 'there is something called the cube that gave us life and we don't know where it came from or how it works,' and you want me to be engaged in this film?" Put forth some kind of effort. The fact that Jason Vorhees's mother never told him what death meant and he therefore can't die is utterly stupid, but it is an explanation. I can go along with the rest of the movie as long as I accept that one stupid thing. Also something that bothers me is that this film has been in production literally for years and the script has gone through draft after draft, yet somehow in the 5 minute drive on the way home my friend and I came up with at least two endings that would have been infinitely more satisfying and believable.

In summary, this movie sucks. If you want to see a movie with one cool special effect repeated one hundred times that insults your intelligence with the stretches of believablility that it asks you to take, then by all means go see Transformers. But ask yourself this while you're seeing it: Why would a super secret government agency that even the Secretary of Defense does not know exists have its secret hideout in the place that it has it and perform its operations out of it, including landing helicopters and walking in broad daylight and not manage to draw any attention to itself?