Thursday, January 15, 2009

I feel great about this whole plane-in-the-Hudson-River thing



Don't know if you've heard, but (if you can believe this) a plane, uh, landed (?) in the Hudson River earlier today. And not the lame part of the Hudson (upstate). Apparently it went in at like 57th Street. A few hundred feet from midtown Manhattan (and my office). And everyone on board somehow lived. And the plane didn't, like, get destroyed. And my secret identity is David Wright.

The pilot, whose name -- Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger -- sounds as made up as this whole incident, clearly deserves the World's Greatest Blow Job (NSFW, dumbass).

(Oh, and sorry if you clicked that link. But if you don't know what Lemonparty is, then leave the Internet right now.)

So anyway, here's why I feel great about this thing:

1. Obviously, everyone survived. I mean think about that. If you're one of those passengers, that is an AMAZING time to cash in your good karma. You were in a goddamn PLANE CRASH and you lived. And this wasn't some rinky-dink Cessna or something; it was a full-on 150-passenger Airbus. And your emergency "landing" wasn't in some field; it was in a river not far from a fairly famous series of plane crashes like seven-and-a-half years ago. And you lived.

2. On a more selfish note, I'm getting on a plane leaving NYC tomorrow. The way I see it, what are the odds of something like this happening twice in two days? **knocks very, very hard on wood**

3. Upon hearing that what caused the flight to go down was that a flock of birds flew into the engine or something, I think I may have come up with the single greatest movie reference ever. Y'all remember that scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indy and his dad are on that beach and the Nazi guy in the plane is bearing down on them about to shoot them to pieces, right? Well, Indy's dad has the brilliant idea to make those weird noises and flap his umbrella at this big group of birds nearby. The birds all fly up and swarm the plane, causing it to crash. As Indy looks at his pops with a huge "WTF?" expression, pops smiles and utters what I later repeated to my co-workers:

"I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne..."


Unfortunately, I'm currently working in an office full of women in the fashion industry, so my reference was lost. (Sorry for the random sexism. Other than times like these, that kind of office environment is pretty sweet.)

(And for proof that I was really early with that superb quote job, I put it into the comments on Digg as soon as I could find a story on the crash. I'm number 6. Stupid Digg users ranked a different version of the story higher, so, sadly, most people will miss my brilliance.)

(If anyone can find a clip of that Indy scene, I'd love to put it up like right here-ish.)

(No more parentheses, I promise.)

40 comments:

Side Bar said...

I am not a particularly spiritual or religious person. In fact, I am more likely to be the guy complaining about religious nuts trying to fold jesus and hallelujah into every conversation.

But if you were on that plane, and you swore to me that the hand of god put that thing safely in the river, I'd be hard pressed to say you were wrong. That was a miracle, plane and simple.

Open Bar said...

Nice comment. Very off-the-cuff. Almost like you were *wing*ing it.

The Notorious LJT said...

Th*air* they go again

Open Bar said...

This could be a good pun war or it could *tail* off rapidly.

The Notorious LJT said...

just *hull*d on a second there, mister..lets see what happens

Open Bar said...

Well done, LJT. We need someone smart and capable to *steward* this discussion.

The Notorious LJT said...

where's sidebar? Just *check-in* to see if he's still there

Open Bar said...

Okay, you give him a call and see if he's all right. Meanwhile, *aisle* keep drinking.

The Notorious LJT said...

there's a great *jet* li movie on so i may have to give up on this...

Open Bar said...

Jet Li's movies suck. I hope you don't get *board*.

The Notorious LJT said...

i just don't know how much longer we can *prop* this up by ourselves

Faith said...

Open Bar requested my presence here in the latest pun war to *prop* up your efforts. Though it seems as if you've all been able to *take off* pretty well without me.

Faith said...

Aw, man, I'm gonna get a flag on that one because you got yours in before me, LJT. It was perhaps a *flight* of fancy to think I'd get mine in first.

The Notorious LJT said...

who *nose* who thougt of it first

Open Bar said...

I guess I'll call that "prop"-off a tie. Glad to have you with us, Faith. If only we could *land* a few more punners, like, oh I don't know, our co-bloggers, we'd be *flying* high.

The Notorious LJT said...

did i mention i lost my voice today? i htink i have a swollen g*land*

Open Bar said...

FLAG.

I just used *land* in the previous comment.

You, LJT, are *grounded*.

The Notorious LJT said...

do i get a *ticket*? i feel *rudder*ly stupid

Open Bar said...

No, no ticket. Though I hope this *propels* you to better comments.

Faith said...

I like to see that you all have such a positive *altitude* about this.

The Notorious LJT said...

we could have a tv show about puns....you guys want to be in the *pilot* episode?

Faith said...

It would certainly be quite a *departure* from the regular tv fare.

The Notorious LJT said...

perhaps we should *delay* it

Open Bar said...

With all this TV talk, I hope you all *arrive* at a point soon.

The Notorious LJT said...

i'll be right back i forgot to lock the *gate* outside

Faith said...

I hope this punning disease we all seem to have caught isn't *terminal*.

Open Bar said...

Someone say something brilliant. It's hard to stay *attendant* to all this rubbish.

The Notorious LJT said...

open bar you are such a *cock - pit*y, isn't it faith?

Faith said...

Indeed it is (especially since I've been trying to figure out how to work cockpit into the war for ages).

Open Bar apparently has some pun war *baggage* he needs to work out.

The Notorious LJT said...

open bar is an old *bag* lady.

wait did faith say that already?

oh, *Hell-I-copt-'er* pun!

Faith said...

Geez, Luke, you're always trying to *snake* all my puns.

The Notorious LJT said...

this is turning into a real *dogfight*

The Notorious LJT said...

are we done or have you two just gone *stealth* on me?

Open Bar said...

*High* there, again. Sorry for my absence, I was just banging Beyonce. She has one hell of a *black box*.

The Notorious LJT said...

sidebar are you even trying or are you just on *autopilot*?

Faith said...

Well, on such a *first class* statement from Open Bar, I'm going to call it a night. It's been lovely punning with you guys again, and the levity is certainly appreciated in light of the present *economy*. Perhaps I'll be back for more tomorrow rather than getting down to *business*.

Open Bar said...

Well said, Faith. And if you need any *coach*ing on further puns, let me know.

ChuckJerry said...

Sorry I missed out on the pun war. I really left you guys *up the river*.

Without me, you guys were really hanging on a *wing and a prayer*.

I was stuck in a *taxi* reading *God is my co-pilot*. We were swerving all over the place because the driver couldn't get a handle on his *steerage*. I asked him to straighten up, but he gave me a real *altitude*.

They were filling in a pothole and it stunk. I yelled out the window to the road crew chief, "You use too much *tar, mac*". I was gonna fight the guy, but he *tower*ed over me.

vessesse (word verification)

Walt Clyde Frazier said...

I have no puns to add toward aviation. I just want to comment that I did not know what lemonparty was, and I unfortunately was "sucked into" (HO YEAH!) clicking on the link. Thanks, Open Bar, for the image that will scar me for at least the near future.

(On second thought, maybe "sucked into" counts towards the current pun war... poor geese...)

spefuti - W.V.

Walt Clyde Frazier said...

By the way, speaking of birds, were you guys aware that there's a football game this Sunday at 3 pm?

:)

Love, Walt Clyde