Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Social Skills Series: Making Friends

I think I became friends with all you Teaneck fools by default. I met LJT on the first day of third grade and on that day, for some reason that I can't really put into words, it was clear that we were going to be friends for the forseeable future. By electricity I became friends with Open Bar, Side Bar, Diesal, Winit, and so forth. (I think we need to bring that electricity thing back. Man the 80s were awesome. When is the last time you even played tag? What if we just played freeze tag next time we all got together? That would be mad weird.) Then by electricity through Side Bar I became friends with MMG, Walt Clyde, Beer on Girl, Daffy, and everyone else who doesn't have an available nickname. (Side note: You remember when we used to be friends with girls, too? Me neither.)

In college I made a few friends, most of whom lived on my floor in my freshman year, and one of whom I happened to marry, but I don't think I really went crazy trying to meet people. Since I graduated college I think I've made one friend. (Shout out to the Commodore.)

Speaking of the Commodore, before he moved to a different continent, we used to talk a lot about how I don't really ever do anything. He would always try to get me to come out with him and do stuff and I would usually just stay home. And then we'd have a conversation about how I don't have social skills and I usually just prefer to do nothing versus something. And then this one time the Commodore came with me into the city and met some of you fools (LJT, Open Bar, Side Bar, Gold, I think Diesal) and we went to the bar or something and general debauchery ensued. And then on the way home he's like, "Ok, I figured it out. It's not that you don't have social skills, you just choose not to use them. You go on and on with those guys and with everyone else you just sit there."

And maybe that's true. But like what need to I have to build an esoteric network of 20 year old references and inside jokes when I already have one? It would be impossible to build a social network that's nearly as strong as the one I have in place, nor do I require any ancillary social fulfillment. And the effort required to be social with people outside of that network seems to be fairly high for me relative to the returns. I see social situations largely as a chore rather than as something fun and/or worthwhile. So really what's the point?

Also, I love you guys.


Joe Grossberg said...

Yeah, it's tough relocating to a new city and starting from scratch, socially. I have lots of acquaintances, but not the deep bonds of friendship you guys do.

Joe Grossberg said...

It's also compounded by the fact that DC's population is so transient -- people often move here for a few years and then head elsewhere.

Side Bar said...

love you too big guy

ChuckJerry said...

Yeah, I guess it would be different I hadn't lived within a 10 mile circle for my entire life.

At the same time, the social skills vis-a-vis moving away somewhere is probably a chicken and egg argument.

(I think that may be the first and last situation where "vis-a-vis" is acceptable as the best possible option.)

Joe Grossberg said...

Yeah, being in a new city forces you to get out, if you want to have friends that aren't hours away. That said, a lot of ppl here tend to gravitate toward classmates/coworkers and folks they already know, who've also moved to DC (e.g. college classmates).

Open Bar said...

You could always try doing drugs too. Then everyone wants to be your friend!

AG said...

I'm a girl and you used to be friend with me!

(World Verification: Testist)