Dear Bleacher Creatures -- Suck My Dick (You Know You Want To)

What kind of "queen," exactly?

While I often mock the Yankees and their fans, probably a bit too much, I'm well aware that part of that behavior is rooted in some level of jealousy I hold toward them. After all, it's more fun if your team wins, and those fuckers in the Bronx win more than, well, anybody. But as I said, at least I'm aware of it.

Along those lines, it's not even surprising anymore when someone (say, a prominent politician or religious leader) who spends a lot of time bashing gays turns out to be gay himself. Obviously, not everyone who's ever used the word "fag" is a homosexual, but if Thomas frequently directs over-the-top, unnecessarily angry, aggressive language or behavior (especially when unprovoked) at someone else or a group, that's usually a decent indicator that Thomas is trying to cover up or compensate for something about himself. People don't generally hold that level of hatred for anyone but themselves.

For example, from a recent Yankees/Twins game:

I have proudly lived in New York City for over two years, and, unlike the often-heard stereotypes, have found this city's inhabitants to be kind, respectful, and even polite. This changed the night of Oct. 9, when I attended the New York Yankees game against the Minnesota Twins. As a Midwest native showing up to the game in my Twins regalia, I expected to be picked on. I expected to be heckled. What I did not expect was to hear homophobic and anti-gay cheers sung by the crowd.

During the traditional singing of YMCA, when the grounds crew takes to the field, suddenly the crowd erupted into lyrics singing, "Why are you gay, I saw you sucking some d-i-c-k." Other lyrics called people who are gay sinners and disease-ridden. I couldn't believe my ears. Whatever people may say about Minnesota or the Midwest, such hurtful and disgusting things would never be shouted at a Twins game. What an embarrassment for Yankees fans and New York City.

Here's some video (though not of that particular night):



Pretty much this whole thing translates to this: "If you root for the other team, you're a faggot."

Of course, every team's fan base has plenty of assholes. The Mets are no exception, and at the few Giants games I've attended, there were times I was embarrassed to be there.

But this video -- which is a routine these fucking mooks called the Bleacher Creatures perform -- is different. Not only is the language particularly graphic, ignorant and hateful, it happens all the time. Obviously security is fine with it, meaning it receives the implicit endorsement of the Yankee organization. Would this be allowed to continue if it were a song attacking blacks or Hispanics or women or, say, those suffering from dementia or craniosynostosis?

Quite clearly, there are much bigger issues in the news lately, like the recent increase in gay suicides or the fact that the Republican nominee for governor of New York feels free to openly gay-bash. I wonder what the Bleacher Creatures would say about that group of sociopathic thugs who lured three gay men to an abandoned house in the Bronx and then brutally tortured them for hours? (And no, a stupid song is not the same as actual torture, but they did both take place in the Bronx, which means they are clearly and inextricably connected. Probably even the same people.)

We can't know for sure whether every single member of the Bleacher Creatures is, in fact, gay, much like we'll never know for sure whether every snowflake is unique. But hey -- I just finished an entire gay/Yankees post without once mentioning Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez!

If I can do it, we all can.