Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Reason I Drive A Crappy Car

Have you seen these?

I have begun to see these all the time now, like on my way home I'll see at least two or three cars every day that have this thing hanging off the back of the car while the car is driving like all on the highway and stuff. (I'm feeling kindof Joycian today, so deal with it.) This is stupid. If you want to rock that while you park, then I guess that kindof makes sense because I know I use the bump technique to parallel park in Manhattan sometimes (all the time), but then if you do that you gotta pull it up for when you drive away.

Driving with that thing on your bumper is a little like walking around the streets like this lady and being all, "well I don't want to mess up my hair I want it to look good", and I'm all, "yeah but you look retarded right now, not good."

Anyway, this is the reason I drive a shitty car. If I had a nice car, I'd have to take care of it and stuff and I'd, like, care if it got scratched or dented or something. When you rock a 2002 Sentra, those things don't matter. And if you live in New York, you can't really afford to spend the energy caring for a nice car. If I had a nice car I'd have to change a lot of things about the way I drive, and I'm just not willing to do that. On top of all that, there's really no way to drive a car around without it eventually going to shit. And this is true of any car. So do yourself a favor, instead of a bumper buddy, just get a shitty car.

What happened to the 80s where the bumpers were all rubber and could actually be used to bump stuff? Now they're nominally bumpers, but practically they're just plastic ornaments.


The Notorious LJT said...

i completely agree. suck it up and deal with the dents or drive a crappy car.

Open Bar said...

I don't own a car but I heard that if you stick a piece of salami on the side of a car, when you peel it off, it takes the paint off with it.