Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Plugging Joe Morgan

If you think the state of professional sports commentary is as abysmal as I do, then you should definitely become a regular reader of Fire Joe Morgan.

This weekend, they had an excellent post examining the mind-blowing stupidity of writer Eric Wilbur. Titled "Hey Red Sox, Time to Hang It Up," the post describes and article in which this Eric Wilbur guy makes the bizarre claim that since the Red Sox don't get emotional enough, they will definitely not win the World Series. At one point, Wilbur claims that what the 2004 championship team had that the 2007 lacks is...ardor?

You should check out the whole post, it's the third or fourth one down. (I can't link directly to it.) But I thought I'd excerpt this particular section, which was my favorite as it mocks the insufferable Joe Buck and Tim McCarver in a short radio play. Oddly (or maybe not so oddly), I can really imagine hearing these two guys speaking these exact words:

Joe Buck: Well, Tim, you have to like the Red Sox' starting pitching and bullpen, but how do you feel about their ardor?

Tim McCarver: Ardor is a funny thing, Joe. It's like Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said about pornography: "I know it when I see it." And with these Red Sox, I just don't see it.

JB: How do you know it when you see it, Tim?

TM: For me, it's when you see the dick going in.

(ten minutes of silence)

TM: Oh. I see. You were talking about ardor.


The Notorious LJT said...

You know what's fuckin' awesome? America!

Open Bar said...


I do not understand that comment.

Side Bar said...

The Joe Buck/McCarver thing was fantastic. I have the Jerry-style tears streaming down my face.

Open Bar said...

I had tears like that too. All day (hell, all week since I read it), every time I thought about it, I would start cracking up.

I can genuinely hear those two in the booth having that exact conversation. And when McCarver, I can hear his precise intonation and everything.

"For ME, it's when you see the DICK going in."

Then he just has that stupid grin on his face, while Joe Buck sits beside him, horrified. McCarver genuinely doesn't even realize what he said.