Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Goodnight, yanks

Good night, room
Good night, moon

Good night cow, jumping over the moon
Good night light, and the red balloon

Good night, cleats
Good night, Jeets

To the offseason, he now retreats;
In the role of "goat," A-Rod he unseats.

Good night, Joe
Good night, Mo

You'll both be gone, next year fo’ sho’,
Take Jorge and Bobby, with you as you go.

Good night, Rocket
Good night, Sprocket

You’re very fat, and I won’t mock it,
But only fatties prefer Tubbs over Crockett!

Good night, Gay-Rod
Good night, Stray-Rod

Buy some "clutchiness," ya friggin' tightwad,
Instead of some stripper, with a manly bod.

Good night, Joba
Good night, Posada

The ugliest battery since Jabba
Was hangin' with this here heart-throbba!

Good night, Damon
Good night, shaman

It’s karma that's to blame an’
Your career sure is wanin’.

Good night, Moose
Good night, Juice

One's old, one cheats, but no excuse;
Their careers both gone like that! Vamoose!

Good night, Boss
Good night, sauce

After sustaining this loss,
Can you now see the flaws?

Good night, yanks
Good night, tanks

You’ll always be a bunch of skanks,
But for this failure, many thanks!


ChuckJerry said...

Well, I'll give you points for being clever.

Open Bar said...

So instead of "Goodnight, yanks," should I have called it "Fuck you, yanks"?

You know, as a balance to your (impossibly brilliant) "Fuck you, the Mets" post?

(Bonus question: Which is better -- Goodnight Moon, or The Runaway Bunny?)

Anonymous said...

Well done, Open Bar.

Open Bar said...


I appreciate it. Good poetry is good poetry.