Disappointed. Let down.
I've been feeling these things lately. I'm sure you know why. Being a fan of something -- a true fan -- can bring you pure joy, but it can also make you feel like complete shit.
It's happened to you at some point, hasn't it? When someone you feel like you know turns out to be the opposite. When you offer your faith and trust, willing to follow and root for them till the end. You defend them to your doubting friends. You might run into someone in a bar and nearly get in a fight because some asshole said something bad about them.
But then something unexpected happens. Something that you had heard about them, but you never thought would ever actually occur. Something that makes you feel like shit for ever having supported them. You find out they're a fraud, that all the love you had for them was baseless. That everything bad you'd heard about them somehow turned out to be true.
Again, this recently happened to me.
It makes you wonder. After all, you had seen them do amazin' things, things that inspired you and made you feel your love for them was justified, things that seemed irrefutable. It was on TV, after all, ya gotta believe your own eyes? And even though you've never met them personally, you still feel a connection, a deep bond.
It's hard to find out it was all a fraud.
I know I'm a bit late on writing about this, but if you were as big a fan as I was, if you found yourself defending your allegiance for as long as I did, if you absolutely believed you would never be put in such a horrible, disappointed position, then you know how it feels to be a fan of...
When I saw this video, it confirmed what I had worst feared -- that all the haters were right. He was, no is a fraud. It wasn't Man Vs. Wild. It was Hotel Vs. Motel.
Bear!! I watched you bite that snake's head off and eat it. I watched you kill that bunny and cook it, and I'll be damned if it didn't look like the tastiest thing this side of Jessica Alba's nipples! I watched you drink your own piss, for God's sake! Why oh why would you let me down like this?
I was there for you, week after week, following your every trip into the Ecuadorian rain forest, that ice chute in Alaska, that...oh, who cares...
And as far as the New York Mets go, well, I guess I haven't yet sorted out my feelings.