Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Meet the Mets

So I am watching the Mets game on SNY (started about 3 hrs late due to rain). It's the bottom of the 3rd, Mets up 1-0, and there is one out (b/c Reyes just grounded out on a nice play by Aramis Ramireze at 3rd).

I'm not sure how interesting this will be to anyone other than me (if that), but figured I would share my running commentary on the game for an inning or two. This will, perhaps, offer a window in to how overly-involved I allow myself to get in Mets games:

Easley up. Four straight balls, 1 on, 1 out. Beltran definitely going to go deep here.

Single to left. Ok, I can handle that. Easley on Second, Beltran on first. One out. Delgado coming up. Guaranteed whiff here. Could this guy suck anymore this year?

(Keith has been talking for 20 seconds uninterrupted about something; I have no clue what he is saying)

2 balls, 0 strikes. This is the big inning. I can feel it. Now it's 3 and 0.

Keith just observed that on 3-0, he would take the pitch. Unreal.

3 balls, 2 strikes. Ummm, Carlos? What are we doing here?

Ball 4! Bases loaded!!! It's like the gods of baseball wanted this to be the inning that I was blogging so that David's first grand slam of the year could be fully documented.

DW up now . . . 0-1 after a grounder foul.

God damnit. DW pops up to 2B, but Easley (rapidly becoming my favorite Met of all time ever) alertly scores from 3d tagging up. Bad job out of the Cubs. Keith is explaining what every single player on the Cubs did wrong on the last play. How is this the catcher's fault? Whatever.

Paulie up now. Nice double steal out of the Mets. Beltran to 3d, Delgado to 2d. Delgado hasn't stolen a base since 2002 . . . Gary, Ron and Keith are beside themselves with how funny this apparently is.

Now LoDuca gets the intentional pass to bring up Shawn Green.

Nasty curve out of the Cubs pitcher, 0-1t o Green. I can feel a slam this inning.

FUCK!!!! Shawn Green fucking sucks. Grounder to first? Way to go, ass.

End of 3. Mets 2, Cubs 0.

Top 4 -- Soriano leads off. Sweet stab out of DW to save a hit!! Bad throw, but Delgado makes the tag. I can't believe Soriano swung at the first pitch. So unlike him.

Now 2-0 to Aramis Ramirez. 2-1. I don't care if you walk him. Let's just not let him go Schoen on me.

Deep fly out to CF. Ramirez scares me like Prince Fielder was scaring me the other day. Ron and Gary are so good togehter. Keith shut up!!!

Here's a shocker . . . 2 outs, no one on, Easley (who fucking sucks, by the way) can't handle a routine grounder and now there is a man on. (On further review, might have had him at first).

Second time's the charm for 2b; handles this one, gets our man.

Middle of 4. Mets 2, Cubs 0. Jorge Sosa has to be getting some Cy Young consideration at this point. What an amazing job he has done to date.

Lastings who? Carlos Gomez has rookie of the year potential. He's faster than Reyes!!

Gary just observed that, for his career, Gomez is 3-6, and that, if he keeps it up, he'll make the hall of fame. Damn anyone who makes me long for Tim McCarver.

And speaking of Tim McCarver, Keith is still talking about a play from last inning.

Dear Keith,

We're over it.


Mets fans.

FUCK!!! Ramirez just robbed Gomez of a double. Amazing diving catch. Guaranteed top 10 on SportsCenter tomorrow.

There has been way too much Al Leiter talk tonight. Hey guys, 1999 called . . . etc.

Pitcher grounds out to SS. Reyes up w/2 outs and none on.

Reyes single to right. I think the Mets have 12 hits tonight that dropped right in front of Cliff Floyd. Anyone who makes Shawn Green look like a solid fielder . . . yikes.

Reyes should be going here. 1-0 on Easley.

GONE!!!! Easley is the fucking shit!!! He has 6 home runs this year in like 12 AB!!! Unreal. He crushes these balls . . . who is this guy?

(Gary just compared him to Babe Ruth . . . . I swear to God.)

Ohh!! Keith just said "all you kids out there" . . . I can't even type this shit fast enough. What a broadcast.

3-1 to Beltran. This pitcher is falling apart. Somebody wake up Mark Prior.

Beltran sucks.

End 4. Mets 4, Cubs 0.

Sosa whiffs some clown. 1 out.

2 outs. Sosa is looking very strong.

The broadcast team is in stitches over a fan e-mail asking why Gary never gets a day off. What fun. October - April? Umm . . . not the point.

Sosa K's some other clown. This isn't even fair.

Middle 5. Mets 4, Cubs 0.

Ron is comparing the deliveries of the two starting pitchers. Ron says they are the opposite of each other. One of us is an idiot (and it could definitely be me), because they look identical to me.

Delgado, F7. Too early for "stick a fork in him" jokes? Yes? Ok, fine, but come Flag Day, Delgado is dead to me if this thing isn't turned around.

Wright singles to left. I am ready to declare it: his slump is over, he is back.

Let's steal second here, DW.

There he goes. I called that. Wright on 2d. He thinks he is Reyes or something.

1-2 on LoDuca.

LoDuca has warning track power, if that. Soriano tracks down a fly in left field. Let's stick to the ground balls, big guy.

2 out. Wright still on second.

Shawn Green is up.

SHIT. In my right field there is problem . . .

End of 5. Mets 4, Cubs o.

And so it goes . . . let's go mets.


Open Bar said...

Side Bar, I hate you so much. You stole it from me! I wanted desperately to do a live-blog on a Mets game. I'm only mad because you did a great job, you fuck.

Your comments were fantastic. I especially loved the "Delgado, F7. Too early for "stick a fork in him" jokes? Yes? Ok, fine, but come Flag Day, Delgado is dead to me if this thing isn't turned around." comment. FLAG DAY!!!

Perhaps we should do one together, you cocksucker?

ChuckJerry said...

Oh my god. That was the most entertaining four minutes of my life to date.

"Easley (rapidly becoming my favorite Met of all time ever)"

"Easley (who fucking sucks, by the way)"

In the same post. Doesn't get much better.