Thursday, February 21, 2008

Big Ups To Science

I'm guessing you've heard about the US government shooting down a spy satellite that malfunctioned and went dead shortly after being launched a couple years ago. But let's take a step back from this for a second. Those motherfuckers shot a missile that I'm gonna guess was like a 5 foot diameter and hit a satellite that was, let's guess for the sake of the argument a 15x15 cube, and it was probably smaller. Furthermore they shot this missile into outer space and even furthermore, the satellite was travelling at 17,000 miles per hour. And on top of all that they were all, "well we'd like to hit the satellite, but even more specifically we'd like to hit the gas tank which is in the lower left corner of the thing kinda towards the back." And they fucking did it.

The combined brain power from Mr. Kirsch's physics class in 11th grade couldn't even begin to plot the trajectory that this missile needed to take in order to nail the satellite square in the gas tank. This is just fucking astounding.

It kinda makes you wonder. I mean, maybe these guys should be pitching for the Mets. Because Oliver Perez can barely throw strikes to a stationary target 60 feet away and these guys are essentially hurling shit into outer space strapped to an exploding gas tank and hitting things travelling at 17,000 mph.

Also, this should be a lesson to people everywhere. Don't fuck with the army. They can blow your shit up anywhere. Even in outer space.

1 comment:

Joe Grossberg said...

"Don't fuck with the army. They can blow your shit up anywhere. Even in outer space."

Unless you're Osama bin Laden. Then they can't even find your ass.

This is a stupid PR stunt, nothing more.