Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A horse walks into a bar starts a blog. His first commenter asks, "Why the long post?"

This had me cracking up.

Though it's been some time since the heralded bloggers at Where's Luke? engaged in a proper pun war, I continue to keep my ear to the ground. Coming to us from Mental Floss is a list of finalists for the Best Pun in the World.

Some of them are quite good (I particular like "E"), though I firmly believe that the true measure of a great punner is his ability (or hers -- hat tip to Faith who held her own, admirably) to come up with consecutive great puns in a short period of time, as opposed to seeking out the "Ultimate Pun." In many ways, having that as a goal would detract from the enjoyment of puns, I think. As alluring as the concept of achieving the Ultimate Pun is, it strikes me that that would kill punning entirely. It'd be like having your penis somewhere inside Angelina Jolie -- why would you ever bother putting it anywhere else? Just kill yourself, man, you've reached the mountaintop.

In any event, I think the best pun we saw in our war was this one (which was focused on shoes, for you memory-impaired folks like me):
The Notorious LJT said...

well done faith, you're punning with the grownups now.

next thanksgiving you can move from the *keds* table and eat with the adults.

I guess I'm somewhat obligated to offer a pun somewhere here. So I figure the newfangled medium on which we've been writing and you are now reading (which at times has been referred to as the Information Superhighway) would be a pretty good topic. After all, it's rife with all kinds of possibilities. Hey, it might just *net* us a few new visitors, who will forever be caught in our *web*.

Two obvious ones down. Let the war begin.

[Pic is from When Worlds Collide.]

24 comments:

Joe Grossberg said...

"It'd be like having your penis somewhere inside Angelina Jolie -- why would you ever bother putting it anywhere else?"

You put it *somewhere else* inside Angelina, you fool!

ChuckJerry said...

Gosh, OB, starting your own pun war instead of letting it arise naturally. That's not following *protocol*.

Faith said...

So far the punning efforts aren't up to the usually high standards. I'm afraid I'll have to give you guys a *C++* for now. Let's see if you can't step it up a bit.

(Thanks for the hat tip, by the way. I'll see if I can continue to hold my own.)

ChuckJerry said...

Faith, that's pretty good. Glad you're holding your own, unlike Side Bar, who is definitely the weakest *link* in these sorts of things.

The Notorious LJT said...

a pun war may be fun but since it's not spontaneous, i think it's a *net* loss.

Faith said...

Thanks, Chuck. If I'm going to be the only g*url* in these pun wars, I have to be an active participant, not just a *browser*.

The Notorious LJT said...

this is like a punning orchestra and i'd like to join the *band with* my tim*pun*y

ChuckJerry said...

In order to continue to find new puns, I'm going to need a *navigator*. Luckily I'm a good *explorer* so it shouldn't take too long.

Open Bar said...

I waited like four months for it to arise naturally, Chuck, but nothing happened so i took the initiative. Please don't *site* me for contempt.

The Notorious LJT said...

I won't site you for contempt OB but i think *URL*ying

Open Bar said...

Flag on LJT. Faith has already used "URL". Perhaps you should go back and reread the last pun war to *refresh* your memory.

Faith said...

If you're not up to the punning challenge, LJT, *wi-fi*ght it?

Open Bar said...

If you don't come back soon, we'll just keep *RAM*ming this down your throat.

The Notorious LJT said...

Open Bar, just *zip* it.

Open Bar said...

Where the hell is Side Bar? I thought our nagging him would *drive* the point home, but I guess not.

The Notorious LJT said...

Well, he's at work maybe he's in the bathroom. I know *IBM* at work every day.

Open Bar said...

I hope our attacks didn't depress him so much he decided to jump out the *Windows*.

Side Bar said...

This pun war *bytes*. I don't think I have even *gig*gled one time. Punning is such a *Basic* skill; *DOS* it really require that you *Dell*agate the punning to me?

I don't mean to suggest that you don't *Excel* at punning, but if these puns were aprhodisiacs, I certainly would have gone from *hard* to *floppy* in a short time. Hopefully something will *click* for the rest of you, and you will *CDs* as the best puns of the day.

*Word*

The Notorious LJT said...

OB, you talk more than *Rom* Emanuel

Open Bar said...

Wow, Side Bar strapped on his *boot*s and joined in. Some were good, others were just a *load* of crap.

The Notorious LJT said...

you know, i think this blog needs a new *logo*, although i look like the daddy *mac* in that picture.

ChuckJerry said...

Gee, OB, I guess those first couple lame efforts were really just a *gateway* to the real juicy puns. Notorious must have consulted an *oracle* in order to come up with those gems. He's so far ahead of us in the punning game, it's like he's the Jetsons and I'm just living in my *adobe* hut at the end of the *oregon trail* using rocks and sticks trying to catch a *mouse* for dinner.

I almost slipped a *disk* *run*ning to my *office* this morning in order to see if there were any new ones. When I saw the number of comments I perked *up, loaded* the page, sipped my cup of *java*, and laughed till the *sun* went down. My heart rate *quicken*ed at the sight of all this beautiful word play.

I sat *solitaire*ily in delight at the sight of this brilliance. I wanted to call someone, but since someone had borrowed my phone, there was not a *free cell* for me to use. So instead I just sat in front of the *screen, saver*ing the greatness of puns.

The Notorious LJT said...

Your ability for wordplay is even more impressive than that of *Dell* The Funky Homosapien.

Walt Clyde Frazier said...

I've been *monitor*ing this *web* of comments going *Back* and *forward* between you all, and have nothing to add except to get a *plug in* for my blog, http://hoboconqueso.blogspot.com.

- Walt Clyde Frazier, the *Real Player* up in here.