Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Chew On This Shit, Vegans

I was watching a documentary on early humans on the Discovery HD channel. The Discovery channel is cool, but the Discovery Channel in High Definition is amazing. Especially the underwater shows. Blue Realm, Into The Deep, I think those are titles of shows on the Discovery Channel about diving and the ocean and crap.

Anyway, here's my point. Throughout history there have been roughly 20 species of hominids, all of which have died out except for one, homo sapiens. At some point our great grandfathers or something were little ape men with hairy butts and abnormally large brains. Then we evolved into the brilliant species that rules the world today and does smart shit like making sweaters for dogs and creating West Virginia. The other species of humans were essentially herbivores and survived by eating grass or wheat germ or some such thing, and homo sapiens evolved eventually into an omnivore, and more importantly, a carnivore. The consensus that this particular documentary reached was that the reason humans became the world's dominant species and evolved such enormous brains capable or reasoning nad abstract thought and writing poetry is because they became carnivores.

Hunting for lettuce isn't all that complicated, but in the winter you're fucked. Hunting for pigs or cows or whatever those dudes ate is much more complex, especially for a relatively wimpy animal with small teeth, poor vision, a terrible sense of smell, and poor running skills. The fact that they had to figure out how to catch and eat meat is what allowed the human brain to evolve into what it is today.

So, vegetarians, you are selling out on your species. Are you too good for your species? I want you all to go out to dinner tonight, have a steak, and think about how goddamned smart you are.

2 comments:

Open Bar said...

For the record, I'm totally in favor of making this blog the most anti-vegan site out there.

bpg said...

second. all in favor pass the A1.