Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I Don't Want To Hear About Non-Essential Organs

What is this ridiculousness about non-essential organs? How is it that they can take an organ from your body and then you just go about your business? That motherfucker is there for a purpose. You want to remove my spleen? Hell to the no. I need my spleen. What's going to do the spleening if you take away my spleen? (Lucy, you got some spleening to do.) You want my gall bladder? Hell to the hell to the hell to the no. I need a bladder for all that gall I've built up. Where else am I gonna keep it? It's like, damn, I know I don't necessarily *need* the cup holder in my car to get from place to place, but shit, I need that cup holder.

Seriously though. The spleen serves a purpose. It filters stuff out of the blood and helps to fight infections. How does your blood get filtered if you don't have a spleen? Your gall bladder also serves a function. It stores the bile that your liver produces until you eat something. Then it shoots the bile in there and aids in digestion. How does that happen if you don't have one? How can these organs be non-essential.

I'm not talking appendix here. That thing literally does nothing and is just in the way. Interesting side note, smaller mammals like rabbits and such actually still have functioning appendices that help to digest cellulose. So it's just a vestige of back when we were herbivores. And humans can't digest cellulose, so the appendix clearly does nothing. So now it's useless, suck on that shit vegans. (This last sentence was unnecessary, except that we agreed this was a vegan bashing blog.)


Hasdai said...

Hey Jerry, nice post. But speaking from recent experience the spleen and gall bladder are non-essential in the sense that if they are removed, you don't die. Seems like a pretty good definition of "essential" to me.

Open Bar said...

Yeah, man, FUCK those vegan bastards. I agree with everything you said.