I know I'm a few days late on this, but Tony LaRussa got a DUI the other day. He was found asleep at the wheel at a stoplight. His blood alcohol level was 0.093.
0.093.
Are you kidding? I think your BAL is higher after you finish communion.
And this made him pass out? In his car? At a light?
I'm going to take this as a judgment on the Cardinals shitty team as a whole. I hear they're removing all urinals from their locker room too. And they'll be showing Sixteen Candles prior to every game. And Albert Pujols just bought David Eckstein a gorgeous new pair of pumps.
And hey Scott Spiezio--go easy on the wine spritzers after the game, okay? The Cards need your big bat. And your milky white, super-soft skin.
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