Top Simpsons Quotes

I was debating with someone the other day whether Seinfeld or Simpsons is the better show. Everyone is entitled to their opinion (and it will soon become obvious that I favor the latter), except that segment of the population that insists that Seinfeld is hilarious and Simpsons is terrible. Who are these people? You can prefer one to the other, but you cannot tell me that Simpsons isn't (a) in the ballpark, and (b) much, much smarter than Seinfeld. By smarter I just mean that they don't rely as heavily on physical comedy or on delivery . . . the actual substance of Simpsons humor is just more . . . well, substantive. The humor on Simpsons is so much more rich, and so much more subtle than it could ever be on Seinfeld. Part of that is due to the fact that they are a cartoon, and can do stuff that wouldn't work on a live action show, part of it is due to personal preference, and whether you enjoy the more esoteric stuff that Simpsons brings to the table, but part of it is just better writing. Hence the purpose of this post, to identify my favorite Simpsons quotes. I've only got three on here for now, so I might add others as they come to me, but these stand out. Most of these require context, and I think I have given enough. I took most of this stuff from snpp.com, the definitive source on the web for all things Simpsons.

1. Episode: My Big Fat Geek Wedding (FABF12)

A despondent Seymour Skinner is trying to win back Edna Krabappel's heart, and Homer is talking to Seymour at Moe's Tavern. Seymour's been trying to talk to Edna from outside through her window. (Kudos, Max, as snpp doesn't have the capsule up).

Homer puts his arm around Seymour and says [paraphrasing] "If there's one thing I'm an expert on, it's winning back a furious woman's heart. I'll stay in the bushes and whisper to you what to say, and you can say it to Edna."

Seymour: "So you'll be my Cyrano?"

Homer: "Hey, if this thing works out, I won't have to."

2. Episode: Mother Simpson (3F06)

Realizing that he has once again spotted a criminal from many years ago (Homer's mom), Burns is meeting with FBI agents to help track her down.

Friday: Are you sure this is the woman you saw in the post office?

Burns: Absolutely! Who could forget such a monstrous visage? She has the sloping brow and cranial bumpage of the career criminal.

Smithers: Uh, Sir? Phrenology was dismissed as quackery 160 years ago.

Burns: Of course you'd say that...you have the brainpan of a stagecoach tilter!

3. Episode: Lisa the Vegetarian (3F03)

At the dinner table, Lisa has decided to become a vegetarian. Homer is stunned.

Homer: Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute. Lisa honey, are you saying you're *never* going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!

Homer: [Chuckles] Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.