Thursday, March 12, 2009

CNB-Deez Nuts

The other day Open Bar wrote a post about baseball and started the post off with a picture of two dogs fucking. He explained the picture by saying, "This has nothing to do with anything. (No. 5 on Google Image Search for "Dogs Fucking.")"

Well, my friends, this is numbers 5, 6, 9 and 12 on Google Image Search for "Dogs Fucking". How do you like them apples?

I'm sure my esteemed colleagues will post part of the clip but tonight John Stewart ripped Jim Cramer a new asshole for about 30 minutes straight.

John Stewart's point has less to do with Cramer and more to do with the whole network.

Basically CNBC became a cheering section for Wall Street They reported what executives said as if it were fact but really never bothered verifying that it was true. They were a sensationalistic and reckless but, at the same time, portrayed themselves as sober and trustworthy.

She is pretty hot, though.

Now, because it's the economy the pitfalls of that are more readily and obviously tangible. If you lose half your worth in a year, you know that sucks pretty much right away.

But I think maybe equally, or even more, detrimental to the country is that the "news" channels like Fox, more than any other, but also to CNBC, which is almost as bad, is that the "news" channels aren't news channels, they're just big loud opinion channels.
Republican gentlemen prefer blonds.

But there really isn't anything wrong with that, I don't think.

The problems is that they pass themselves off as credible news sources but they're not. They're entertainment that is based on the news.

Democrat gentlemen prefer...............huh?

People investing in the market really want to hear that the market is great, Republicans want to hear that Democrats are Godless, wimpy, spending-happy assholes and Democrats love hearing about what small-minded, greedy douchebags Republicans are.

We love sensationalism, especially when it's what we already want to believe.

And yeah, CNBC did a shitty job and they were reckless and fuck them and we shouldn't take their word as Gospel and yeah Fox News is a just a propaganda machine for the right and, yeah, that's left us with a shit economy and a fucked up war.

I guess my point is that cable news isn't really news and, hopefully the last few years have made that clear.

So, after we're done roasting CNBC, maybe we should flip over boring PBS every once in a while or BBC and see what that monotone, fat old guy is saying.

1 comment:

Open Bar said...

Apparently there was some significant extra footage they didn't have time to air. During that, Stewart also called Joe Scarborough "Doucheborough."

Which is funny 'cause I always thought that was Staten Island. ZING!