Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Dear Liberals,


Dear Liberals,

Just a little free public relations advice from The Notorious LJT.

You are on the right side of this torture thing. We are the United States of America, we don't torture. We're not into the whole war crime thing. OK, so for a bit we were but we feel bad about it and we're not going to do it anymore. That's what you are saying, right?

Guess what the right is saying via Dick Cheney? These bunch of pussies are too wimpy to protect anyone - especially you. Be afraid. Very afraid. We saved your asses, you don't know exactly how but we did. And you won't appreciate how safe you are until you are attacked again. When you are attacked again, just remember we kept you safe and if we had to crack a few skulls - er, use enhanced interrogation techniques - well, so be it.

Now, of course, there are a great many people that seem to think that torture really doesn't work and that the tortured will say just about anything to stop said torment. This is point one.

They also point out, now Al Qaeda can train for our enhanced interrogation techniques because we've made them public. Well, we don't do it anymore so who gives a shit? Point two.

More importantly, Dick and friends are pro-torture. Any time someone starts spouting off that bullshit, just point out - oh, so you're pro-torture then, right? Use those words. Just like the right very effectively used the words "pro-life" and "death-tax". Pro torture. A lot of times the Democrats' problem is they act like a bunch of fucking sociology students. They just talk too damn much and don't really get around to any concise point. Keep it simple. The right wants to torture people and scare you. We don't, it's not who we, Americans, are. We are anti-torture. That doesn't make us pussies. It makes us right. Point three, the important one.

Keep it simple, people.

Love,

The Notorious LJT

4 comments:

Open Bar said...

Shouldn't this post be titled, "Dear the Liberals"?

The Notorious LJT said...

Oh, how I value your thoughtful insight - Mr. Open Bar.

ChuckJerry said...

torture, motherfucker, torture. I'll fuckin sew your asshole shut and keep feedin' you and feedin' you.

I'll lay your nuts out on a dresser, just your nuts, and I'll pound those shits with a spiked bat.

ChuckJerry said...

I don't know that I'd categorize the entire right wing of the spectrum as pro-torture. It's probably more like a few gies who happened to be in control.