Friday, April 24, 2009

Hey Ticking-Time-Bomb scenario -- suck on this

Average night for me.

I figured I'd get in on the whole torture-debate thing, so in response to Side Bar's post below: Please, someone, anyone, describe a realistic situation which could feasibly happen in, like, real life that suits the "ticking time bomb" scenario.

To be clear, in that scenario, we (the good guys) must:

1. Know that there is in fact a bomb that is definitely in Times Square;

2. Know that said bomb will definitely explode imminently (How imminently? 20 minutes? 2 hours? 12 hours? What is the time limit for the ticking-time-bomb torture exemption?);

3. Somehow be positive that this particular terrorist we have somehow apprehended definitely is the one who made or planted the bomb, or knows who did and can somehow put us in contact with him/her;

4. Know that torturing him is definitely the only way to find out both where the bomb is and how to defuse it.

After that, we can ride my Luck Dragon back to Krypton and make love to some totally hot Kling-On chicks whose beds are made of ultra-soft leprechaun gold while a choir of unicorn-elfs serenade us with the most kickass rock version of Pachelbel's Canon ever.

And then I get to bang Hermione.


The Notorious LJT said...

This post is remarkably similar to the comment I just left on Sidebar's torture loving post.

I agree with OB.

Open Bar said...

Side Bar totally loves torture.

Open Bar said...

And wow, hey, lookie here:

ChuckJerry said...

Hermione, that's who that is. I knew I knew her and couldn't place her until the bottom of the post.

I'm not opposed to torture in the situations already described here, I'm just not really confident that it's effective.

In the same way that I'm not necessarily opposed to the death penalty under an ideal scenario but the fact that there are a significant number of people on death row who have been exonerated by DNA evidence and the fact that putting someone to death costs the state more money in appeals and hearings and such than just putting them in jail for life makes the issue less than ideal almost every time.

I didn't really have words to describe my torture feelings, so the death penalty analogy seemed to fit pretty well.

Side Bar said...

Who knew that actual Hermione would be hotter than Linday Lohan as fake Hermione on SNL (schwing).

I did. That's who.

And calm the fuck down about my post. Go back and read it again you idiots, including the link to the Dershowitz article. He has an interesting take on an issue that is a little less black and white than people on the left want to acknowledge. I used his hypothetical to (a) introduce his idea for torture warrants, and (b) to make the larger point that with torture, as with probably everything, moral absolutism is not (as far as I am concerned) intellectually satisfying.

You've already proven the point - torture was absolutely, totally, always wrong. But then in his example, it wasn't.

Calm, relax, and don't waterboard the screen.

Word verification: shinces (first cousing of toonces; driving cat, the)

The Notorious LJT said...

i think we've also proven the point that shooting people in the head is wrong except when it's a baby eater and fucking kling-on chicks is totally always wrong unless you do it after riding on a luck dragon and to unicorn elfs playing pachelbel's canon.

The Notorious LJT said...

in conclusion, sidebar loves torture.

incidentally, since torture is ok in sidebars book if you ever want to torture him, strap him down and talk about the western ski trip.

Open Bar said...

Things Side Bar hates: Facebook

Things Side Bar loves: Torture

Side Bar said...


The ski trip torture would not even be justified in the event of the ticking time bomb. God you all just need to stop with that.